iss pal ki dhun.....

What's on my mind...

2010-11-15T22:58:00.000-08:00

My Ananya. My beautiful Ananya.

National Novel Day 1...

2008-11-01T17:21:00.000-07:00

I need ideas. Please help...somebody? Anybody.

08.08.08

2008-08-08T23:47:00.001-07:00

Happy Fortune!

Missing.

2008-04-23T10:46:00.001-07:00

I am not jet lagged anymore. Thank God, or should I thank myself for not being tempted to sleep while the sun is out. It is almost against nature's rule to sleep while the sun shines. Why waste time sleeping when you could be........... ummm working? Anyway.

Today I feel the need to start my day by writing a few lines. Don't ask me why. Just one of those days. I am content yet something is missing, something small which ACTUALLY seems to stand out in the grand schema of things. At the moment I am going to let it be there and not try to figure out what it is. It is what it is. They say sometimes it is ok to leave it alone and let it be part of you. Who is 'they' you ask? No clue.

I am well slept. My eyes are not tired, nor do my heels hurt from the rubbing of my shoes while walking so many kilometers of tiny streets made from cobblestones in Italy. I am tanned a bit. I can see the light lines of my shoe straps while the rest of my feet are a shade darker. This just tells me that the summer is almost here. I wonder if this summer is going to be dry just like my lips and face at the moment. I keep rubbing Lavender & Orange Badger Lip Balm on my lips constantly. It is suppose to soothe, smooth and improve your skin. It has organic extra virgin olive oil with beeswax and extracts of aloe vera. Truly, it does not seem to help at all like it did before. Perhaps it’s old and has lost its soothing ability? Is that possible? I mean I have had this little round tin box (.75 oz) for the last 14 months. It came from Whole Foods in Austin, Texas. On the side of the box it says, Try it. Use it. Never Lose it. I have successfully followed the instructions. Quick note: I just took a second and rubbed it again.

My g-talk window is blinking. Someone has pinged me but I am not in the mood to switch windows and see who it is and what they are saying. I just want to type, type random nothings. Be it about my tin box almost empty of its ‘non-soothing at the moment’ balm, my feet, broken left thumb nail, the missing something inside me or the white and brown sleeve of Sarbucks coffee cup, a summer special I am assuming. Regina Spektor is singing “On the Radio” in my ears.

Last night, I was sitting in my red cushioned chair by our lovely two bookshelves, with my laptop on my lap, ha. I had my hair tied in a bun; couple of my hairs pulled hard by the rubber band and hurting me a bit somewhere around the lower left side of my neck. I was irritated by it but was too lazy to re-do my bun. As I was surfing, I stumbled upon an acquaintances’ blog [RS] and learned her father has left her, for a bit, until its time for her to be with him. Before I could realize, tears were rolling down my cheeks. I wanted to stop myself but could not. No matter how hard one tries to console an individual who has lost a dear one, it is tough. We just cannot do it. Personally, I don’t think it is possible. What works is that clichéd one word, Time. But sometimes that is not the answer either. This paragraph is meant to go nowhere. I will stop here.

I slept. I woke up. I got ready. Chinmay and I sipped on our warm hot chocolate over a conversation about cleaning lady, laundry, resumes, and wrinkled clothes. We decided the hot chocolate just was not enough and drove to Starbucks. Picked up our ‘usuals’ and stood outside since our regular spot was taken. We enjoyed the morning cool breeze, continued our conversation while looking at the condos near by and headed to the train station. I dropped Chinmay off for his 8:40 to Berkeley, and got on the road. I turned NPR on to hear a young man from Ohio has been found dead in a bombing in Bagdad. I tried to listen for about 30 seconds and switched the radio off. I called my mother and spoke to her for the next 30 minutes till I reached work and here I am writing. Now I will start my day, with that something still missing.

It was a blast.

2008-04-21T14:43:00.001-07:00

Italia.

2008-04-10T09:43:00.000-07:00

Pallu43 (9:36:22 AM): Dave, i am going to Italy tomorrow and need to know how to say Hi, Thank you, Have a good day and where is the bathroom in italian. help.
Das Ubergeek (9:36:36 AM): hahahahahaha
Das Ubergeek (9:36:49 AM): hi = buon giorno (daytime), buona sera (evening)
Das Ubergeek (9:36:55 AM): thank you = "grazie"
Das Ubergeek (9:37:09 AM): have a good day? nobody says that in Italian
Pallu43 (9:37:24 AM): how about "go to hell?"
Das Ubergeek (9:38:26 AM): hahahahahha
Das Ubergeek (9:38:28 AM): one thing at a time
Pallu43 (9:38:36 AM): i only have 24 hours.
Das Ubergeek (9:38:37 AM): where is the bathroom = dov'e la toletta
Pallu43 (9:38:40 AM): u dont understand.
Das Ubergeek (9:38:43 AM): (i might misspell this)
Das Ubergeek (9:38:51 AM): (because i don't really ever write Italian)
Das Ubergeek (9:38:57 AM): huh?!
Pallu43 (9:39:11 AM): i only have 24 hours to learn all this hahah
Das Ubergeek (9:39:17 AM): or dov'e il gabinetto?
Das Ubergeek (9:39:20 AM): that's a little more proper
Das Ubergeek (9:39:27 AM): "where is the toilet" vs. "where is the bathroom"
Das Ubergeek (9:39:32 AM): so
Das Ubergeek (9:39:50 AM): Hello - Buon giorno - bwohn JORR-no
Das Ubergeek (9:40:09 AM): Hello - Buona sera - BWOHN-ah SAI-dah
Das Ubergeek (9:40:26 AM): Goodbye (formal) - Arrivederci - ah-ree-veh-DAIR-chee
Das Ubergeek (9:40:34 AM): Goodbye (to people your own age) - Ciao - CHOW
Das Ubergeek (9:40:56 AM): Where is the bathroom - Dov'e il gabinetto - DUH-vayl gah-bee-NET-toh
Das Ubergeek (9:41:16 AM): Please - per favore - pair fah-VOH-day
Das Ubergeek (9:41:36 AM): Thank you - grazie - GRAHT-syay
Das Ubergeek (9:41:57 AM): You're welcome - prego - PREH-goh (also used when someone hands you something)
Pallu43 (9:41:57 AM): see i knew u'd save me.
Pallu43 (9:42:13 AM): i am going to print this chat and memorize it on the flight.
Das Ubergeek (9:42:24 AM): Go to hell / Fuck off / Get stuffed - vaffanculo - vah-fahn-GOO-loh
Pallu43 (9:42:31 AM): Woh Dave Easy there mate.
Pallu43 (9:42:35 AM): "grazie"

Hello 27

2008-04-03T00:00:00.001-07:00

List.

2008-03-31T15:18:00.000-07:00

Directions/Car bookings Printouts
Tickets
Camera
Camera charger
Memory Chips
Transfer Cord
Maps
Laptop (grrr)
2 Pairs of Jeans (Diesel/7's)
Tooth Brush with its cap
Tooth Paste
Under Garments (ahem)
Round and Flat Brushes
Paul Mitchel Serum
Books
iPod touch with its charger
Blackberry with its charger
Flat Iron (deepa)
Hair Dryer
Shampoo and conditioner
Electronics Converter
Raani Color Jacket
Black Jacket
Pepto Bismal Jacket
Tank tops
Black BCBG dress
Brown FlipFlops
KC Black Heels
Black and Red BR Sweaters
Solid Black t-shirts
Socks
Hair Bands
Scrub
Face Wash
Toner
Cotton Balls
Q-tips
5th Avenue Travel Bottle
Foundation/Powder/Blush/Eye Liner/Eye Shadows
Contact Lens Solution
Eye Drops
Contacts
Glasses case
Sun Screen Lotion
Body Lotion
Hair Scarves
Sunglasses
Chewing Gum
Wheat Thins
Cereal Bars
Dove Milk Chocolates
Lipton Tea Bags
Sugar Packets
Those sticks you stir tea with....yea. Those.
Trader Joe's Quick food packets (just in case we get tired of eating pasta)
Passports
Drivers Lic.

Visit our books.

2008-03-31T08:39:00.001-07:00

Unaccoustomed Earth

2008-03-26T18:23:00.000-07:00

This is Jhumpa Lahiri's third book releasing on April 1, 2008 (I have waited 2 years for this). And I wait.

RiceSubWayRadio

2008-03-24T21:27:00.000-07:00

Dinner was delicious today. Chinmay and Jeetu made chinese fried rice. I like this idea where the guys get together and cook. It is certainly not a bad deal for Deepa and I.

So a question, are Subway sandwiches good for you if you OD on them? I must eat subway three times a week. I kid you not. Here is how I take it:

6 inche Italian Herbs and Cheese Bread
Provolone cheese
Mayonnaise on the chicken
Chipotle Southwest sauce on the bread
Lettuce
Cucumber
Jalapaneos
Tamatoes
Salt and Pepper
Wrap, and to Go! ----Anna is the name of the cashier who asks me the same question everyday in her spanish accent, "Is it for here or to go?"

Enough about food, here is some food for thought....

"Radio is, like food, a large part of most people's lives: 77% of the American population listens to radio an average of at least three and a half hours a day, making it very nearly ubiquitous." (From Deep Economy by Bill McKibben)

On My Plate

2008-03-23T23:26:00.000-07:00

I have these books. I want to read them all. In no particular order.

I am back.

2008-03-23T23:13:00.000-07:00

to stay or not to stay...that is the question. For now, I'll say Hello. I missed writing here. I shall write whenever I can. Life has been busy. Not a bad thing or very good either. It's somewhere in between hanging loose and tight.

June 2007 - Visited Santa Cruz and met Rohan.
July 2007 - Nima and Razia were here.
August 2007 - Went to Ohio for Sharvari's Engagement
Sept 2007 - Visited LA for the long weekend. Attended Meera Khera's bridal shower.
October 2007 - Nima, Amit and Avani visited.
November 2007 - Terlingua, Texas with UCSB gang (hiking/cabin weekend)
December 2007 - Bittu was in town along with Amol, Namita and a few others.

Jan 2008 - Worked, worked and worked more
Feb 2008 - Got five little pigs, the book as a gift from Babu.
March 2008 - Worked, worked and working..... getting ready for our trip to Italy...

Thats it? my missed time here took 10 lines to sum it up. Good or bad? who will make the decision?

MUST DO

2007-05-30T21:20:00.000-07:00

get wheat bread, jam, organic milk and fruit
email Netz,Avani,Meera and Jaime back
send a thank you note to Yogesh and Preeti
get a bio book ready for mummy
pick up a good read at borders
make an entry of post it's in my own journal
get a blackberry
start running
prepare dinner menu for Prakash mama & Nilima mami's visit
plan a day in the city with Jeetu
arrange for dinner with Gupta
fix a day to invite chummi/puja over
get an HD box from comcast
fix the guest bedroom closet

G-talk Conversation with SuJoy!

2006-10-07T17:59:00.000-07:00

Pallavi: last night i told my Journal..i am going to stop judging
sujoyg: judging and bitching are fun..
Pallavi: they are two diff things no?
sujoyg: well bitching involves some degree of judgement.
Pallavi: see u are REALLY starting off with the Bitching ..if another force is 'forcing' you towards something u have chosen NOT to do...you are a poor fellow who is genuinely helpless & being dragged into the negative realm ..........
sujoyg: i don't mind being harmlessly evil once in a while to have fun or share a light moment. :D
Pallavi:LOL
sujoyg: another one bites the dust of morality.. tch tch
Pallavi: i propose you to be my partner in "no crime"
sujoyg: hmm i would consider considering this proposal
Pallavi: if you dont i will take myself into crowded solitude.
sujoyg: what is that vaguely accurate metaphor you are using?
Pallavi: i cant beat u to the game of words nonetheless i try.....here is one for you...two negatives in an english language can give you a positive wat are two positives which can give you a negative
sujoyg: hmm *thinking* i submit ----what have you got?
Pallavi: Yeah,Right!
sujoyg: nice one
Pallavi: victory on my end this time?
sujoyg: it's yours
Pallavi: Cheers!
sujoyg: yeah right

Bye..

2006-09-11T18:22:00.000-07:00

Tonight will be the last night...
where I'll sit in 706 Bolton walk and eat dinner with Harry
when Harry will say, "visitor permit de sakthe ho kya?"
it's gloomy outside and my mood is blah'ed up too
After today, Chinmay and I will be the only ones in SB
I am going to miss everyone so much
I can't really call up anyone of these guys and say, "Dinner here tonight"
Tomorrow Harry leaves for India and off to Houston, TX.
He too is saying bye to SB.
Starting tomorrow Chinmay and I will be just us.
I will miss everyone very much.

Pallavi | Moving Forward >

2006-09-08T16:00:00.000-07:00

ALL WORRIES. NO LOGIC.
PALLAVISerious Unclarity.
_________________

Filled with an
available array
of mind-boggling
worries, from
uneasiness^3
to heated
and ventialted tears
and a Closed Key System
with Push 'panic' Button start,
A Pallavi Mind
turns regular life
into non-logical phases
at times.Navigate
the wandering mind
of hers at
khushiblogspot.com

______________________
ALL GOOFINESS. NO LOGIC.

Middle School thoughts...

2006-09-08T14:26:00.000-07:00

It's nice, very nice
Sunny days and cold nights
Ocean is it's neighbor
Palm trees are it's friends
Folks drive slow on the streets
at trade joe's they always greet

It's nice, very nice
Streets are small
buildings are short
'things' are expensive
It is traditional
It is old fashioned, yet trendy
It is someteims windy

It's nice, very nice
bike paths are gorgeous
the mountains are beautiful
the air is fresh
and the smell is clean
It holds one K-mart
it has no room for wal-mart

It's nice, very nice
apartment is cozy
screams for more closet space
the grass is green
the tree is tall
inside the apartment, chinmay reads a tome
Goleta, CA.... is soon not my home.

Emotion

2006-09-05T21:59:00.000-07:00

I am restless.
Why?
I don't know.
What you feeling?
I feel like partying.

.....I associated the word 'restless' with negative things only. Today, I learned something new. Cheers Razia!

I have been to...

2006-09-04T21:37:00.000-07:00

Nordstroms Rack in Ventura, CA
A small indian restaurant on a cold night in Minneapolis, MN
A rubber track on a windy Monday afternoon in Massillon, OH
'the' big library on a rainy weekend in Canton, OH
A corner book store on a snowy Thursday in Akron, OH
Street....Crowded, hot and full of unfriendly people in NYC, NY
a 'foreign' Niagara Falls Horse Shoe in Ontario, Canada
the street from which I saw the big Ferris Wheel by the Michigan lake in Chicago, IL
the green neighborhood full of trees and snow in Ann Arbor, MI
those dirty streets, expensive parking lots of downtown Los Angeles, CA
the exculsive Rodeo drive of Beverly Hills, CA
the standard Hotel with expensive 'people' on Sunset Blvd, CA
FCUK store on 3rd street Santa Monica, CA
that adorable little Danish Town in Solvang, CA
Saint Martin's Theater to watch "the mousetrap", in the dark, with an umbrella, in London, UK
to that disgusting, beaten up, vandalized phone booth MonteMartre in Paris, France
A fancy bathroom where the water fountain was automatic in Frankfurt, Germany
the classy perfume store at the airport in Amsterdam, Holland
the busy, sort of non friendly, packed airport in Kuwait City, Kuwait
Walt Disney world in Oralando, FL
The city that never sleeps....Las Vegas, NV
the house of the President of USA in Washington D.C., USA
the Cheescake Factory on the waterfront of Baltimore, MD
packed street with desi restaurants and shops in Jersey City, NJ
and ate in cute little Deli in Pittsburg, PA
those streets which go nowhere in Raleigh, NC
...and lived in, ran and walk through, smiled, cried and was born in Kolhapur, India

and living @ 706 Bolton walk Apt 104 iN Santa Barbara, CA -- My home!

truly, they are over-ated

2006-07-30T12:34:00.000-07:00

iPod mp3 players

BMW's

High Heeled Shoes

Expensive Mascaras

IBM laptops

and niceness

2006-05-30T21:52:00.000-07:00

we love you lots!

2006-05-16T23:27:00.000-07:00

2006-05-02T11:23:00.000-07:00

the AVANI plan

2006-04-04T11:32:00.000-07:00

breakfast = peanut butter on 1 slice of toasted whole wheat bread with a slight drizzle of honey for sweetness and chopped up 1/2 banana on top with a b complex vitamin in the morning

Breakdown:
breakfast: protien from the pb, good carbs cause it's not white bread = breaks down to sugar = fat, banana good fiber and vitamins.

lunch = egg white sandwich with only 1/2 yolk on 1 slice of wheat bread folded over, with a very light spread of full fat mayo and lots of black pepper and a good amount of romaine lettuce, sprinkle of parmasean cheese and a light drizzle of roasted red pepper italian dressing

Breakdown:
lunch: protein from the egg whites, skip half the fat on the yolk, again 1 slice whole wheat bread so not bad on the carb intake, get to have the real mayo but VERY light spread and a little fat is good for you (you need good fat in order to burn fat so your body doesn't store any ounce of fat it does finally get)

the salad to fill you up and it's light so it burns through your system quick doesn't weigh you down, and you don't get sleepy after lunch but you feel full

afternoon snack = some yogurt and toatsed smoked almonds

Breakdown:
afternoon snack: low-fat yogurt is good calcium and of course low-fat, almonds have good fat and protein (you need protein to have muscle and more muscle means more calories burned at rest)

1 hr. of full on cardio kickboxing

dinner = a little white rice and began bertha with some yogurt

Breakdown:
dinner = white rice not the best for you but a small amount, and again yogurt, but the indian eggplant, well it's not really good for you cause it's a lot of oil and fat but like i said you gotta have a balance...and i was craving it...gotta live life too ya know
(i was craving indian foood but probably wasnt' the best thing to eat at night)

so i ate ALL day, but it was 'clean' food so it never sits in your stomach, you get hungry quicker but can eat more often in small portions. did you know you also burn approximately 100 calories everytime you eat just to digest the food, which means 5 small meals, you just burned an extra 200 calories as opposed to your typical 3 meal 300 calories and you get to eat more!

ButterFool

2006-04-01T23:56:00.000-08:00

First it was...."There is a bug on your head", or "what's that on your face?" Then it was the phone call ... "Hey can you meet me at such and such place in ten minutes for coffee?"Today I was fooled by a non-human yet VERY smart, w/o a phone call yet goofy, Google, with its Google Romance. Fooled by the Internet. Interesting.

I deeply felt the lack of laughter with the person who would have fooled me in real life instead of Google. I felt the need to say, "Oh, You are horrible" or "I am going to beat you up" ,et al. So I decided I didn't want other people to feel lonely about being fooled. I called my best friends and family in ohio and fooled them by telling them a silly story. We all got a great laugh in the morning. I got to hear things like, "Oh, Pallu, this is so not funny" and "Gosh, I wish I was there to smack you right now." Ha! I loved it.

Chinmay and I spent the day in Solvang. We visited couple wineries and did some tasting. On the way, The music was playing in the car, Chinmay opened the moonroof, I looked at the ocean to my left and smiled. It was a beautiful day. All of a sudden I felt my smile going away and I was taken over by a big frown and a deep feeling of immidiate sadness. An innocent butterfly crashed right into my car as I drove at 75 mph. I wanted to change the lane but it was too late. The wind blew the butterfly in my direction to fool it for life. From the bottom of my heart I wished for it to be an April Fools trick, sadly, a harsh reality it was. Dear butterfly, I am sorry, truly.

I..

2006-03-25T08:12:00.000-08:00

I want a ballon which doesn't pop
I'd like a cool cell phone ring
I want a dark light bulb
Pink looks good on men

I want a chair with 6 legs
I get nervous about little things
I space out in group conversations
Blue is ugly in my eyes

I can be self-centered
I would like to be an author of a non-written book
I can be stubborn, demanding and a nag
Yellow sky would be so pretty

I talk too much
I like tuna melts and chocolate chip cookies
I'd like a candle which doesn't end
Black is my friend

I smile very quickly
I think I have ugly fingers
I am not fond of my nose
White Night would be interesting

I am an aries
I am sensitive
I agree with others more than needed
Red light can be the green signal at times - for kicks

My cursive is not as good as my print
My nails are really weak
My mind wanders
Gray is not in my wordrobe.

Me, My thoughts and I.

Life_Mgmt_System

2006-03-23T22:01:00.000-08:00

Can life be compared to a document management system? it is created clean, brand new and given to us by our creator, 'God' (if you believe god is our creator, if not, aliens, satans, witches..whoever).

We get put into this world-system, which is not only operated by our creator, but whoever has the right to influence our existence, ofcourse, by default, that right was given to them by the creator. Parents parenting us, siblings taking our things or bossing us around, friends being faithful or unfaithful, enemies doing their job to make our lives hell, etc.

There are different groups we interact with in our lives, again, different sets of friends, a group who only eats vegetarian food, a group who only likes to talk in english, a group who will only have intelligent conversations. A family group. As we grow up, we start seperating things and streamlining processes which effect us, this is where we start putting in our own security model.
Exactly at which point did the security model change from 'creator' being the owner, to us being the lead in the database of our own lives? Whenever it was, it's good to check in and out of the system at our will. we can block unwanted spam buddies who tick us off by installing our 'attitude-ware', or put some sort of authentication process for others to enter 'i'll do whatever you wish' code to get through you. If not, disable them, put them on ignore mode and see if they improve for reactivation, it not, delete all.

And now, you can be the importer of things into your life, be it clean, currupted, or used....it is your choice. Release!

Not My Day

2006-03-21T18:30:00.000-08:00

I woke up smiling,
hoping for a day so dazzling.

I got to work, to find,
I am a little behind.

Too many un-needed meetings,
Which can be irritating.

Failure of a planned appointment,
Gave me a disappointment.

Scolding from a loved one,
Made me feel all alone.

Bitching behind my back,
is the last thing I ask.

At work forgot my purse,
to make things even worse.

The day was so gloomy,
only person I wanted to see...
was MY Mummy!

Sure enough,
her smile makes me tough.

2006-03-19T20:43:00.000-08:00

"Please don't wake up yet, stay in bed", said chinmay. He was affraid that I will get up and start talking to him, therefore he won't be able to watch his WWII video. ha! I woke up, paid a visit to the bathroom which I scrubbed and cleaned with fresh spray yesterday. It smelled so nice and clean. The window above the sink was half open , welcomed itself and hang out with the candles and soaps. I opened the water faucet, spalshed my face with luke warm water. The sun had managed to make its way out of the clouds after two-three days.

I entered the kitchen and made two cups of coffee with easy on sugar. I read in a magazine yesterday that sugar can be the cause for bad skin. I had remembered to pick up a cinnamon rasin bagel from Albertsons for today. I spread the original creemecheese on my half cut bagel and sat at the coffee table, sipping on my coffee and biting on my warm creamy bagel. Mmmm!

I relaxed a little grabbed a book, then watched some t.v. and went to get ready to have lunch on state street with Chinmay's labmates. I wore Yellow, "eve holiday" skirt with a green top with little beads around the neck and a white 3/4 sleeved cardigan; my last year's bday outfit from Chinmay.

We reached the restaurant a bit early, so to kill some time, walked to the local court-house on Anapamu road. It was a beautiful quick tour, sorrounded by old ladies and gents, palm trees, water fountains, big doors and room full of leather benches, and an old squeaky elevator, which of course took us on top of the building, just to show the beautiful ocean, the palm trees lining the waterfront, houses on the mountains which looked like a painting, and the clear blue sky with birds flying so freely and happily.

While eating lunch, I realized that I was sitting with 4 other ph.d's who love bio-medical stuff and I know very little about the subject. While they talked about cells and conferences and PNAS magazine, I looked at the white wine bottle, extremely clean and clear water goblets full of water and ice cubes, the condensation, and the bright yellow lemon swimming inside it. Oh, yes I did participate in other topics like, vegetarian diet, weddings, Saint Patrick's Day, Vietnam War, San Francisco, Politics and the middleast. We had a great time.

We stopped at the library. I opened a new account for myself and checked out many books. Perhaps, I'll read some of them, perhaps not.

I paid a visit to a store on our way back home to pick up a mat for the bathroom. As I stood to wash my face this morning, I felt that the bathroom wanted a make-over. I picked a nice fresh seagreen soft mat, which ended up being too mushy and the door wouldn't close.

I had dinner with Nisheet and Harith. And now here I am, next to Chinmay, trying to summerize a fun Sunday, while he reads WWII stories. I am heading back to LA tomorrow. Back to the hectic life full of traffic, red lights, yellow lines, factories, companies, people, smoke, horns, running around, merging in and out of lanes, answering phone calls, going in and out of meetings, talking to people, smiling, wearing high heels, carrying fake smiles (rohit, i feel the same), checking emails constantly to make sure that everything is fine at work, solving issues, doing presentations..............................................................Working.

Happy Holi...

2006-03-12T14:28:00.000-08:00

Last Day...

2006-03-05T21:38:00.000-08:00

April 3, 1981 - Born in Kolhapur, Maharashatra, India.

July 1984 - First time I entered a School in Shivaji Peth.

1985 - 1994 - Laughed, cried, watched hindi/marathi movies, learned math, science and geography along with Shivaji Maharaj Stories. Along with all that, I learned to sing the national Anthem. Memorized, "India is my country, all indians are my brothers and sisters, I love my country and I am proud of its rich and varied heritage." Learned that 15th August, 1947 is the Independence day of India. Read textbooks on M. Gandhi, J. Nehru, LokManya Tilak, and more. During this time somehow, someone entered my heart and head and made me a Proud Indian.

April 1, 1994 - Got on a plane and flew to the United States of America (no it was not a april fools joke).

April 1, 1994 (U.S time) - Realized that I am no longer surrounded by the people who speak my language, look somewhat like me, eat the same food, dance like me, admire the same freedom fighters and actor/actresses, stand in line to get groceries at a local "dukaan". Eat Parley-G biscuits and buy fruits and vegetables in an open market or from a guy who screams outside your house, "Bhaajiwaaaala."

The airport was Huge, the car which came to pick us up was Huge, the roads were Huge, the light poles were Huge, the banana which was given to me because I was hungry was huge. It was a shock and a change for me -- a Huge one indeed.

April 15, 1994 - My first Day at an American School. Everyone looked the same to me. I didn't understand a word. I wanted to run away. I found myself sitting in an office with my mom, a white guy, a white lady and my cousin. I was admitted into Jackson Middle School as an 8th grader, who didn't look like the other kids in school. I dressed in poofy dresses which were made by Arihant, our family daarji in Kolhapur. Other kids looked at my long last name and asked many questions. The first day I took the bus home, I was scared out of my mind that I am not going to see my mom again. The bus driver was nice, she dropped me off on Bricker road. I walked to 8111 Bricker Road and saw mummy waiting for me ouside. I ran and hugged her. I never wanted to go back to school. I wanted to go back to Kolhapur. Be with Arachana, Swati, Rupali, Ashwini and Yogita.

1994 - 1995 - I wrote letters to my friends in Kolhapur. Wondered when I would visit India again. Watched hindi movies which were in my Aunt's house. Wondered what the kids in Kolhapur did for this diwali. The same year I joined the track team and became a top runner in Middle school.

1995 - 1996 - I entered 9th grade, Jackson High School. There were kids who drove their cars to school. I still took the Yellow Box (school bus) to school. I was part of the Varsity Track team. I was friends with all the popular kids in highschool. I took german lessons, and used dictionaries to understand German to English, and many times English to Marathi. I heard my name over the loudspeaker in the mornings for winning a track meet from the night before. Sometimes the librarian came and gave me 'today's newspaper' with my name highlighted in the sports section.

1996 - 1997 - Mummy got a letter from the school saying that it is important that she attends an event after school on a Tuesday night. Mummy, didi, dada and I got there a little late. We sat in the back of the auditorium. A teacher started talking about a 'student' to the whole audience. I poked mummy and said, "i think he is talking about me"... mummy told me to keep quiet and pay attention, and a moment later he said, "Can everyone please rise and welcome Pallavi to the stage!" The only thing my mom could do was cry. Photographs were taken, everyone clapped, I received a Presidents/Honors Award for the year. I still have the certificate which is signed by Bill Clinton.

1997 - 1999 - I fought with mummy to attend the prom, but failed. I fought with mummy to go to late night parties with my american friends, but failed. I fought with mummy to go watch a football game at 9 pm., but failed. I talked back, answered back, said things like, "everyone at school does this then why can't i?" I failed to understand where mummy was coming from. I managed to graduated highschool, got my drivers licence. Got my first job as a Perfume Sales Representative at a perfume shop. I was accepted at the University of Akron for the honors Mgmt/Int'l Business Program. I met many other indian kids in College. I started listening to Hindi songs again, liked Shahrukh khan, started dancing to indian songs again, participated in diwali shows, attended Indian Students Association meetings, and hung out with fellow indians in a area called "desi basti" on spicer Ave.

2000 - 2006 - Moved to Los Angeles from Ohio. Finished college. Found a new job. Met Chinmay. Got Married. Started a new life...

March 5, 2006 - Today is the last day I will be an Indian Citizen. The INS has called me into the El Monte office to take the citizenship exam to be an American Citizen. I made the decision to do this, but somewhere deep inside me an indian girl will always remain, who was born in kolhapur, who learned the jana gana mana without realizing when, who still can't sing the star spangled banner, who can't tell who the 5th american president was, who has never attended an american wedding or stepped inside a church. A soon to be american citizen who will perhaps remain indian... at heart.

Everyday things...lately!

2006-02-26T22:18:00.000-08:00

Water. Socks. Petroleum Jelly. Lipgloss. Aerosole Shoes. Rang De Basanti CD. Maroonish-Pinkish Short Sleeved Cotton Top. Name Tag. Coffee Cup. Bic Pen. Glasses with Nose Pads. Red Toe Nail Polish. Layered Hair. No finger Nails. Aching Wrists. Google Talk. Orkut. Music. Ghoongroos. iPod. Winterfresh Gum. Clinique shimmer sunscreen lotion. Roads and beaches. . . Me.

I don't know....

2006-02-15T06:59:00.000-08:00

I just don't...

and so I think....rather try..... to know and find out.

Pallavi...

2006-02-09T19:50:00.000-08:00

Pallavi literally means 'sprout', a vegetation image associated in Indian symbol systems with rasa (sap, juice flavour, essential inspiring vitality) and it carries a sense of a beginning. It suggests the idea of a seed and a shoot, or a bud, the beginning of efflorescence and the stem resource for an expansion. Until Subbarama Dikshitar's time (he published Sangita Sampradaya Pradarshini in 1904), it was usually called pallava. One traditional etymology breaks the word into three syllables and derives each from a component of a song: padam (‘word’), layam (‘rhythm’), vinyasam (‘display’). T S Parthasarathy has called this a mere ‘guess’, but perhaps this playful derivation could be understood more as a helpful invention, a mnemonic or pedagogical device, rather than literal linguistic etymology or erroneous speculation. It sums up the parts of the nucleus in a nutshell. From the pallavi, the embryonic original impulse, and so the essential spirit of the work, the whole of the kriti develops.

Before the term pallavi came to be associated with the initial line of Tyagaraja’s kritis it was the term for the dominant form of Karnataka musical court performances in pre-Tyagaraja times. Designated more fully as ragam–tanam–pallavi, or simply called pallavi, it was one expression of manodharma (the duty of the mind’, exercise of the imagination) sangita, the improvisational art music of the times. The reason why this form, which often extended for many hours, was called pallavi, probably had to do with the single line of text around which it was musically elaborated. This form was used in lengthy competitive exhibitions of musical technique, including displays of rhythmic and melodic virtuosity and improvisation on the theme.

part of me.

2006-02-08T09:14:00.000-08:00

It's been a while eh.. I was speeding through work, social life, parties, dancing, and driving. For a while my life shifted gears and took me in the fast lane. Then I saw the yellow light flash, saying "low-on-gas", pull over, hence, I am here -- to relax and make sure I don't miss out on the slow lane goodies.

I have five fingers on my right hand, like many of you. When I bring them together it becomes a fist, with which I can punch things. I was looking at my hand and realized that each finger on my right hand represents something about me.

I am short like my Thumb, but wear heels to be tall.

My index finger -- types the letters h, j ,n , y, u , m to expediate my typing process.

My middle finger -- tries not to flick others off, is tall like Chinmay and a bit weird, like my sense of humor at times.

My third finger is weak-- like me, at times when I am sad, upset, or angry.

My pinky -- my favorite finger, I couldn't really tell you why, not now, perhaps later sometime.

My palm -- receives all the happiness and sorrows, and my figers come together to hold it tight, for future lessons.

Bye!

2006-01-19T22:52:00.000-08:00

When she spoke....it touched ppl's heart
when she smiled....everyone smiled back
when she sang....all were speechless, simply because of her sweet voice.

Every line out of Nihira's mouth was a defined, priceless pearl. Nihira's voice is the face of happiness...truly, a beautiful person with even beautiful voice.

She is off the Sa Re Ga Ma Pa show. =(

Good Luck and Good Bye Nihira!

Fazy Leeling...err lazy feeling.

2006-01-13T17:44:00.000-08:00

They all have their own space, well decorated. It is just comfortable enough. They neatly share the given space and don't quarrel among themselves. Some are forced into being naughty and lie on top of each other. Arr! But they do follow rules, gladly. Today, I bet they feel homeless inside the home, entirely due to my laziness. They are my plates, glasses and pots, in the kitchen. I haven't felt the urge to pick up everything and put it where it belongs. I call it being lazy not busy.

A half filled wine bottle with a loose cork—semi-soaked in the wine—placed on its mouth, sits next to the stainless steel microwave. The small space between the fridge and the sink has been captured by the microwave. A sliding glass window above the sink shows the parking lot, some trees, Storke ave, and the mountains full of beautiful houses. Most of the wood is modern wood in the kitchen, including the spice rack which holds about 12 seven inches long glass bottles with green caps, containing, basil, thyme, lemon pepper, Herbes de Provence, fish garnish, to name a few. I've used basil the most out of all, to add an Italian touch to my penne pasta with olive oil.

A cute little four feet dining table is screaming for emptiness. Poor thing has been brave since last night, carrying the burden of its little mates in the kitchen, of course because of my laziness. The napkin holder stands still wrapping the paper towel role so close to it. An empty “Dole 100% Juice Berry Blend” carton is thanking me for not throwing it away in the big stinky garbage can yet. The lonely wine glass, with its long thin stem and a round base, is waiting to get rid of its stickiness and to be placed back on its rightful shelf in our ladder. The yellow water carafe with green flowers, a gift from Julie, perhaps wonders, "Where the heck am I?" The yellow heart shaped candle is extinguished, yet waits to be lit, any moment. It's getting dark outside. I shall free them from the open space and put them back into the cabinets which are craving for fullness. To hell with being lazy, it's time to get busy.

1st day Morning.

2006-01-11T16:40:00.000-08:00

All the necessary maps were with us. I had made sure my sister sat beside me the night before and confirmed all the freeways towards the destination and back. Three highways were changed before we reached our exit. I had didi move to the right lane, a good mile and a half before, slowly. Buena Vista street was written in white letters on a green exit sign which hung down, from what, I still don't know, perhaps I was too busy looking at the directions mapquest and didi had put together. Per my advice, we turned left instead of right, sure enough, we got lost. Didi turned around and went the right direction. Luckily we lucked out and entered the grand gate. We were stopped to answer some questions to the security guard. It was a cold morning in the second week of January in 2004. I wore pair of black dressy trousers, a white tank top under a combination of white and baby pink horizontal striped net top, which never kept me warm, as a back up, I carried another baby pink crew neck sweater. I stood near the redish green backless bench as Didi drove out of my sight in the grey Camry which has the best stereo system.

After asking several people, "where is the TD building?", I finally went down the grey steps and up the elevator, covered with stainless steel, in which I quickly checked my hair, pressed the modern yellow buttons which lit green, the door opened wide and I entered the 4th floor. There were signs which read, "To the Right", "To the Left", "Go Straight", leading me to room 409B, for the first time, for the first day, for my orientation.

"Welcome! Please sign here." Said the lady with blonde hair and blue eyes with a beautiful smile on her face. "Did you have trouble finding the building?" She asked. "Oh not at all." I replied. I wonder if she knew that the very first sentence out of my mouth going towards her was a lie, which seemed to enter her ears just fine and made her smile once again.

I hesitated, yet the growling in my tummy had me make my way towards the long table, along the wall, covered by a bright yellow plastic table cloth. It held trays filled with black forks, knives and spoons. Clear cups with curvy detached handles were kept facing down, next to the plain white coffee mugs. Most attracting of them all were the plates filled with pastries, bagels, cakes, and muffins. A big glass bowl held ice on the bottom which was sweating with water. Perhaps those mini containers of Land-O-lakes crème cheese were making the ice cubes nervous, for whatever reason. I spread the crème cheese on a cinnamon raisin bagel which was cut in half; a cup of warm coffee was accompying the bagel and crème cheese, literally, in my hands and inside the tummy. I felt good.

meaningless....yet ok

2006-01-08T09:59:00.000-08:00

together,
in this world,
boxes of love embrace a lifetime.

unclear

2006-01-06T22:52:00.000-08:00

The evening was dark, not so cold, maybe a little breezy, calm yet somewhat agitated. A track mate dropped her off in the parking lot. She wore a purple and yellow sweat suit with grayish red Nike tennis shoes; the right foot shoe lace was a bit tighter than needed. Those shoes were bought from an expensive store before her mother left for India. Perhaps, it was a gift to keep her happy in her mother’s absence and for her 14th birthday which they had celebrated 'small-ly' about a month or so ago.
She ran to the door and rang the bell. To her surprise there was no answer. She then rang the doorbell right next to their apartment. Her aunt opened the door and gave her a wooden smile. "Is didi here?” she asked. Without giving her aunt the opportunity to answer, she had already peeked inside and entered the apartment to find her sister sitting with B-Kaka, A-Maushi and R-Mama on the black velvet sofa, which was bordered with gold gaudy material. It felt like they were all waiting for her. She said hi to everyone and immediately started talking about how the day had been and the races she had won and how the journalist couldn't stop taking her pictures and asking so many questions about her running method. Everyone smiled and listened. She felt a bit strange. On a normal day, someone or the other would have said, "Ok! Enough!" or “Alright, are you going to keep quiet now?" But on that day, they listened, to everything.
Her aunt served food in her plate and tried best to answer questions like, "Why is everyone here?" "How come the TV is off?" "Why is our apartment locked?" and more. As she was just taking her last bite, her sister stood on one side, her aunt held her close and said, "Pappa is no more."
As those words hit her ears, everything in the room turned into a disturbing picture of clear mess, which she carries in her heart till this day. It changes at times, with added and deleted memories, smell of the room, looks on everyone's faces, vivid and blurry words -heard and unheard.
There was a brief moment of silence and before anyone could realize or say anything it was completely broken by her gasps, weeps, and only one word came out loud, "mummy"—the person she wanted to be held by close to the heart at the time—who happened to be thousands of miles away, far from her.
She remembers things like, “Calm down, don’t cry, drink some water, come close to me...”, but her B-Kaka said, “Cry beta, don't stop yourself.” She listened and till this day she cries from the bottom of her heart every time she remembers that picture, but, alone.
Really, that was the only day she and her sister cried in the midst of many close ones, yet they both felt alone and far, so far, from their mamma, and forever from pappa.

Happy New Year

2006-01-01T20:51:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas

2005-12-25T01:41:00.000-08:00

Everyone.

Email.

2005-12-15T22:35:00.000-08:00

I live in LA for three and half days and in SB for the rest of the week. We are attending my company holiday party this weekend so I am not driving home. I wrote my husband an email reminding him to bring a few things with him. His reply follows each request. I couldn't help but crack up.

Babu,

You need to bring the following things with you on your way to LA tomorrow.

1. Black strapy high heels from the shoe closet --- they have long black strings, oh and also the bronze nine wests!
----i threw both those pairs away yesterday. there was no room in the shoe closet for MY tennis shoes.

2. Black Shawl inside the closet... it's on a hanger with the red shawl.
---i thought it was a rag. i used it yesterday to wipe the bathroom floor. do you still want to wear it?

3. Wedding VCD's, so we can send them to india with yogesh. He is leaving next week.
---i deleted the wedding video from my laptop. i didnt have enough room for call of duty (Stupid video game of his).

4. My baby pink wool coat -- its in the closet next to my trench coat.
--- sorry! i burnt the pink coat. it was stinking of elizabeth arden (My lovely perfume).

5. Curling iron from the bathroom cabinet, its got a blue handle.
---oooo!!! it was a curling iron. i thought it was the toilet pump thing. i unclogged the john with it yesterday. do you still want to curl your hair?

I think that's it...
---yes that's it.

I love you.
---yes i love you too.

Chinmay.

Letter.

2005-12-12T22:50:00.000-08:00

Dear You,

Hope all is well. Just wanted to scribble a few lines. Had you any idea that…

If it wasn’t for your mother, you would have never understood the magical taste of rice and milk with mango pickle.

Your sister is the reason, you are able to take everything from her bathroom, closet, jewelry box and never return it.

Papa’s genes are the cause for your sense of music, high cheekbones and straight teeth.

Only your husband tells you that you need to be strong and not let other people take advantage of you. Also, how important it is to just ‘listen.’

Baba loves to hear you talk and so he says, “Hi, chatterbox…how’s my daughter in law doing?”

Every weekend Aai tells you how much she misses being near Chinmay and you, and especially during festivals – so she can feed the two of you and shower you with lots of gifts.

Take care –---- of the things which are given to you.

Yours truly,
Me.

4.the other woman.

2005-12-11T21:49:00.000-08:00

April continued drinking and Gabi continued serving. The two took full interest in their own activities, only difference was that one enjoyed the activity and the other forced it onto herself. As the night passed, more and more people walked up to the bar and ordered drinks. Gabi still looked as hot and fresh as she did when she came in for work this evening. On the other hand, April's eyes not only still matched the cherries, but their size had decreased, her head was wobbling like a spring doll and while she walked to the restroom, her steps had become baby steps - literally. She was learning how to walk all over again by holding onto whatever and whomever came in her way.

It was almost 2:00 A.M. Fuel bar was slowly going out of energy. Gabi walked over to April.

Gabi: Do you need a cab?
April: He should have told me before. I would have let him go. Why did he wait so long? He has been doing this for the last six months on and off on and off. Why did he lie to me?
Gabi: Husband? Fiancé? Boyfriend?
April: Boyfriend
Gabi: Oh you'll find a new one – she laughed to cheer April up.
April: I really care for him. I want things to work. I made so many efforts to keep him with me. I did everything what he told me to do. I listened to everything he said.
Gabi: you did a little too much, don’t you think?
April: But I thought that'll keep him with me.
Gabi: You can't make him be yours. Open the door.
April: How could he just walk out?
Gabi: locking up always doesn’t work. Try talking to him.
April: No point!
Gabi: Why not? It helps.
April: He keeps things to himself and I hate bugging him. I want things to work between us. I want him to stay with me. I really want to be with him.
Gabi: Dear…April cut Gabi off and continued.
April: We've been together for a while now and we should 'make' things work. Gabi: What exactly happened? If you don’t mind.
April: He wants to be with someone else. He has been seeing her for last 6 months. He says, he's tried telling me several times but I get so emotional that he can’t have a conversation with me.
Gabi: Maybe you need to give him his space and listen to what he has to say with an open mind.
April: (Loudly) NOOOO!!!! I have done so much for him and how can he do this? How can he just be with someone else? He doesn’t even know her.
Gabi: do you know her?
April: No, I don’t, but I know.

Gabi silently looked at April and then at her watch. It was 2:00 a.m. Fuel was officially closed.

Gabi: Hey, do you need to get a cab? Or a ride?
April: No I am ok. I live on west campus.
Gabi: Are you sure?
April: Yea...Thanks.
Gabi: Listen, I am sorry. I hope things work out.

April slowly got up, grabbed her coat, put her scarf back on and wiped away her tears. She continued mumbling something and signed the bill for the drinks. As they were leaving, unexpectedly, April hugged Gabi and said, "I don't know what to do. How can he do this to me? What have I done to him? Why me? Tears kept falling on Gabi's shoulder as April let out so many words, sentences; questions like the continuous waves in the ocean, Gabi simply stood like a rock and let the waves of words hit her. She ran her hand on April’s head and gave her a warm friendly pat on the back.

April stepped away and felt a little awkward and humiliated. She quickly uttered, "I am so embarrassed, so sorry, and thank you so much...I really need to leave, i don’t know what I need to do. I am just not thinking, I need to be alone....Max shouldn’t have done this...he should’ve known better than be with someone…whoever that girl is...some Gabi at some bar..."

April stumbled out of the bar as Gabi just stood there -- Speechless.

3. Conversation

2005-12-06T14:20:00.000-08:00

"She told me her name was Billie Jean, as she caused a scene Then every head turned with eyes that dreamed of being the one Who will dance on the floor in the round.."

These famous lines of Michael Jackson literally grabbed Gabi by the waist, pulled her off the ground and pushed on the bar top.

Everyone clapped and cheered as she moved her hips, hands and head from right to left in a perfect rhythm. Her wavy brunette hair enjoyed their swing dance in the air. Her blue eyes twinkled with excitement and happiness as her turns created a perfect circle around her - along with a circle of people watching her go with the flow. April was one of the spectators, though it seemed as if she was watching Gabi dance, in truth, she herself was running in that very circle with her emotions, questions, assumptions and more.

"You go girl", cheered a random girl with a loud voice. Gabi bowed and stepped off the bar top. She continued serving drinks to her customers and thanking them for the compliments. April swallowed her last portion of the whisky with her eyes closed and eyebrows drawn together, like a thirsty person in the middle of a desert. As she finished drinking April quickly put her head down on the bar, and felt the whisky flowing down in her system like lava would through the rocks. Unfortunately this flow wasn't destroying any of her un-needed thoughts and emotions. She shook her head and said, "Hey let me get a shot of vodka."
Gabi turned to look at April and said, "Are you ok?"
"Just get me a shot of vodka, please!" April ordered.
"Alright woman." Said Gabi. As she was stepping away...

April: Listen, I am sorry. It's not my night.
Gabi: Anything I can do other than get you drunk?
April: That might be the only thing for now.
Gabi: Talk about it?
April: What good is it going to do?
Gabi: Get it out of your system.
April: It's like a chewing gum stuck in your hair, hard to get it off.
Gabi: Lot of times you have to cut the hair off to get rid of it.
April: I like my hair.
Gabi: It'll grow again, really. Let it go.

"Yo sexy thang. You gonna get me a drink or just talk to the 'pinky'?" taunted an obnoxious middle aged guy with a mustache. April just looked at Gabi as she stepped away to help the guy.

2. First meeting.

2005-12-01T00:58:00.000-08:00

"Can you get me a glass of whisky straight up?" Said April, as she took off her baby pink wool coat and plaid scarf which was wrapped around her neck. She felt a little piece of snow on the right side of her neck, so she raised her shoulder to wipe it off. Glancing in space, she ran her hand through her beautiful light blonde hair and grabbed a high chair to sit at the bar.

Her nose and ears were the color of a cherry, her eyes matched the grass underneath the snow outside, and the deep circles under her eyes tonight created curves like the moon. It seemed as if, she either had a huge fight with someone or just finished crying her heart out; for whatever reason/s. She looked quiet and portrayed an image of, "Stay Away From Me!" Yet something in her eyes flashed,” Someone please come talk to me."

"Here's your drink," said Gabi.
"Thanks." Replied April as her green eyes met with Gabi's Blue eyes for the first time.
"Sure. Anything else?" Gabi threw back.
"No, I am good, I think." April muttered.
"Oh and can you please keep my tab open?" Asked April. Gabi smiled back.

Many strangers ended up visiting Gabi at the bar on her work nights. She'd become a rich girl - with a lot of emotional assets deposited by her customers in the bank of her heart. Her upbeat and 'people' personality could sense the low-key-ness of April's mood. As she stepped away to help the girl with a black Kangol hat for a Strawberry Daiquiri, Gabi wondered about April.

"Score!!!!" a crowd cheered for Lebron James when he scored a 3 pointer. Everyone's head automatically turned towards the big flat screen T.V. hanging on the back wall of the bar.

Gabi continued shaking the ice with Vodka, and lemon juice inside the shaker, simultaneously she wondered what sort of cocktail of thoughts was pouring itself out in April's mind. "I bet it's not intoxicating enough, so she came here!" Thought Gabi. She sure was curious to find out.

1. Them.

2005-11-29T22:19:00.000-08:00

Why me? What is it that I have done? What about me? ..... she asked herself. *April's* mind in November was taken over by these questions and more as she stormed down Main street, and, the snow kept falling all over her. Before things could really freeze up she walked inside Fuel - a bar on main street in Akron, Ohio.

A tall guy with cowboy boots and a funky hat stared from the corner. A cigar which held itself loosely between his index and middle finger kept burning while the smoke train let itself go in Fuel - the one and only smoking bar in Akron.

Men chugged down beer at pool tables and watched the lakers shoot some hoop. Ladies continued giggling with boys, playing with their hair, leaning against the bar and sipping on cosmopolitans, margaritas and martini's with olives in the triangle shaped glasses.

A glass went flying up, did three-four back flips and landed in her right hand. Put the glass down and reached for a bottle opener from the belt on her low rise dark blue Armani Jeans. She held the bottle in her left hand, bit tilted, grabbed the neck and snaped open the cap. As she poured the beer into the glass she smiled, *Gabi* - the hot bartender of Fuel, entertained - Everyone.

a thought.

2005-11-20T22:04:00.000-08:00

Thought/s… how many cross your mind per day? If you were to keep a count of them how would you? Draw lines? Put dots on a paper? Smack yourself? Ahh..

A sun ray poked through our bedroom window to wake me up this morning. I gave in and let ‘it’ splash my face with its warmth. It put a slight frown on my forehead and when I opened my eyes, my eyebrows automatically stretched themselves and a yawn welcomed itself to come out. Not to my surprise the ‘stretch’ was just waiting for its turn, took the opportunity and kicked in. The very next thought in my mind was, “Ahh time to wake up and put all the clothes away properly in the closet. Pick up my new perfume bottles, paint my toe nails, ….. the thoughts were rushing in like passengers rush for a train which only stops for 30 seconds at Dadar station in Bombay.

Once again I looked at the sun ray which had formed a perfect beam, yep! the one which woke me up. You’d think I’d be upset with it and look away, to my astonishment, I looked right into it and found bunch of little particles of dust floating. As they traveled out of the beam they were invisible. It was so nice of the sunbeam to give them an identity. A thought for my thoughts --- “if a face was to be given to them, would they look like these particles? Floating, running in and out, playing hide and seek in my mind?” But again…. That too was just a thought.

Old Friend.

2005-11-15T20:31:00.000-08:00

I was part of the school band. We stood in the front facing all the girls who prayed while we played the dhol,drum, and more. I think the purpose of the band was to simply wake the girls up or maybe to hide the ones who were not really singing, but moving their lips.

Why was she not wearing white and blue? The girls without the uniform were to form a seperate line. Shouldn't she be standing in that line? Ah, it was her first day at "my" School. I don't really remember or know where she came from. As everyone stood on the school ground for our morning prayers, along with them she stood towards the back of the ground. Not only she stood, but, she 'stood-out' wearing a purple velvet dress which was long, not long enough to cover her ankels. Perhaps her mother wanted her to show off her anklets. She was short for 5th grade, yet her presence was tall enough to be noticed.

She was fairest of them all with goldnish brown hair, when she laughed really hard her face turned pinkish red, her eyes were light brown with facial features so sharp. Her earlobes were little and attached to the side of her face. Her feet were small with toe nails painted red, like her lips. I wanted to have her earlobes. Really.

I am not sure how we started talking but we became good of friends. Then she left.....Reshma, The new girl at school moved yet again. I wonder where she came from and where she went? Though, her image remains in my mind - Beautiful.

Shivaji Peth

2005-11-09T22:42:00.000-08:00

Our house was the biggest one on the street. Three stories with grand balcony. I waited with pony (my dog). She came to pick us up at home. Didi and I ran down the steps and joined the other kids, we walked. It was a 15 minute walk before we reached school. Too close to get there by a rickshaw or bus. We went along with many kids on the street. Good times. Now, when I close my eyes I see white shirts, blue skirts and dresses, red belts and ribbons. Some hair with oil and some with no oil. I was always jelous of the girls with long hair, I too wanted to braid my hair but my mother always kept our hair 'in-style'.

Men standing on the corners, people waiting for the bus to take them to the main part of the city for their jobs, women spritzing water outsdie the main entrance. Girls who no longer went to school put rangoli in the front yard. One grocery store by Dr. Raut's office and maybe 500 yards down the street was Patil Mama's shop. The milk kiosk was so small that only one person could sit inside it, that's where they sold the 'cool' type of milk in those blue bags with air so tight. It said "vaarna" on it. I always wanted to poke a needle and make the milk go "ssssssssss". But I never did it, even once.

Average family ...

2005-11-07T20:15:00.000-08:00

looking for random answers....

What is the life of an average family in india... say a mother and a father with a daughter and a son...
how do they send the kids to school?
only pappa works?
what type of school do the kids go to?
what type of things do the parents teach kids?
what kind of tv shows do they watch?
is the girl allowed to have friends who are guys?
what are your thoughts?

Few of my favorites...

2005-11-06T09:47:00.000-08:00

Se7en

2005-10-31T23:19:00.000-08:00

Happy Diwali everyone. Arjun, here is the tag answer. Cheers.

Seven things I plan to do:

1. Back Pack to Europe
2. Get my MBA
3. Sky-dive
4. Have a baby
5. Send my mom and in-laws on a world trip
6. buy a home
7. contribute to an orphanage

Seven things I can do:
1. watch sex and the city any number of times
2. get along with whomever i want to
3. imagine and dream
4. enjoy little kids company
5. type without looking at the keyboard
6. juggle with three balls
7. put contacts on while driving

Seven things I can’t do:
1. swim
2. write a program in java
3. fight back with people
4. stop shopping
5. sing
6. write like reshma sanyal
7. finish a book in one sitting

Seven things I say most often:
1. watever
2. oh really
3. so! ---okayyy
4. you know what i mean?
5. oh my god
6. Right, Right.
7. Seriously

Seven people I want to tag:
Keshi
Pari
Reshma S.
Suyash
Puneet
Bold and Beautiful
Prophet

Mummy - 50 only.

2005-10-29T00:03:00.000-07:00

She always smells nice, her hair so shiny and skin so soft,continiously glowing. Her hard working capability is never ending. her food always turns out perfect. She says, be happy. Fight. Don't Give up. Enjoy life and learn from your mistakes. I kiss her everytime i leave home. Mummy.

*My mother is turning 50 on Nov 9th.*

silly faces.

2005-10-28T00:20:00.000-07:00

she made a face like "WTF?" while I was watching. Maybe she thought I wasn't paying attention, but sure I happen to see it.

It felt strange and weird, yet a bit sad-- why would she do that? What is it that I have done to her? Come to realize how silly was I to feel sad for something so foolish and specially coming from someone so very unimporant like her.

Surely she ended up making a bimbo out of herself. Pity her. Putting her under the "ignore" category is the remedy.

and...I smile at her with mercy....

unexpected tears....

2005-10-14T10:05:00.000-07:00

We have six weeks to do this. So busy working on so many things, colors on the forms are not looking right, the fields are not matching, the db is not configured, the documents are not being entered into the sytem without error messages, the cluster is not setting up correctly, the servers are going haywire, testing is not complete, the data is not lining up, presentations and documentations are not done. Waiting for developers to turn things over so can do, this , that, and that, and oh yea that too...oh AND that .....much more : at the same time, work with the client, smile, look good, dress up well (it's Bob Iger's Office), drive from Glendale office to the Studios -- empty gas tank in the car, but gotta make it for the meeting, walk through the studios as all the directors, actors, characters working away, smile at the working men, stop and say hello! Get your ID ready, go through the security checks at the front gate, wait for the escorts to take you in, go through four more security guys to reach the office, walk, high heels, sunglasses, contacts making my eyes dry, four guys with you to set up the conf. room, be nice to them....smile with them. Lawyer with you, so you dont say or implement anything which you are not suppose to. (compnay may get sued). oh and dont forget.....must smile and make everything work... despite of having annoying and impatient clients. Loose it. feel like screaming, "Stop the Drama, the system is FINE, it'll work. Have patience." ---- Silence!

Driving out of the studios at 9:30 pm. Night filming going on, Alias is being shot, cameras, lights, people, laughs, walks...amidst...my car makes its way out on the road to the freeway....i see red and white lights, traffic is moving faster than the normal speed. Talked to chinmay, took all my frustration out on him....hung up the phone. Talked to a co-worker about an issue which took place earlier in the day. Resolved. Success. And the next thing i feel ....tears rolling down on my cheeks. My brain had me pull over to the side of the road, and i cried. Outloud. I cried.

I feel good today.

Expectation Reduces the Joy.

2005-09-26T11:51:00.000-07:00

So true that we all reduce our own joy by having different expecations. Why? Why do we make up an image or situation in our minds without actually knowing the reality? What leads us to make decisions for others actions? Why do we HAVE expectations?

Desperate.

2005-09-25T13:38:00.000-07:00

eat snickers and peanute m&m's - satisfy my craving.
to excercise and look good - stay fit and fit-in.
to keep up with 'fashion' - enjoy clothes and make-up.

to learn a new programming language - be marketable in the market.
understand technology better - be able to have an intelligent coversation.
to go back to gradschool - be educated.
do well financially - have a lavish life.

have one long conversation with my dad - share happiness and tell him we are OK.
share things with mom and sister - Advise, suggestions.
spend lots and lots of time with my husband - have a family.
to be near friends - Someone to smile with other than family.
to not be desperate - impossible.

Life is always desperate.... one may not realize it, but we all have some desperations or the other. Really.

troop

2005-09-19T23:17:00.000-07:00

when the word troop comes up, you automatically think of group, set, cluster... and as simple as a circle of friends. I've always had a good friend circle. I was born and raised in Kolhapur, India. So, where I lived, everyone spoke marathi. Even the non-marathi's knew how to speak the language. But when I moved to the United states, the only marathi spoken people I knew were my family members. Now, everyone at school only spoke english. So it was either speak english and be their friend or shut up. I picked up the language along with the accent (rather i tried) and I succeded. I think.

Well, over the weekend, I was on the phone with my sister in law who lives in bombay. Her daugther (my neice) Anisha is only 3 years old. She goes to school for 2 hours a day. Bombay being the mixing bowl.. full of different types of people who speak differentl languages. It's understandable that the schools are full of variety of people.

Anisha's parents are very strict about the fact that they want their daughter to speak good marathi. Many kids in bombay only speak english and absolutely have no clue about their mother tongue. Obviously Anisha's parents do not want anisha to be one of those "english-spoken kids with no knowledge of own mother lang."

Understandable.

But, is that a good thing? Is Anisha understanding this already and taking actions which she shouldnt? Does she know that she is only suppose to talk to people in Marathi? How is she handling this you ask? .... Well.... there are 20-30 some students in her class. She is in school for 2 hours a day. The classroom is full of all types of kids. Come to realize, Anisha and the others somehow formed a troop of their own. Troops..which only speak in a specific language. Anisha now only has friends who speak marathi. There is another group of kids who only speak gujurati, then punjabi, so on and so forth.

I wonder, how many kids did she try to talk to before she realized that she doesnt understand them. How does a 3 year old do the "same language spoken hunt?" Amazing how she made the decision of blocking everyone else out but the Marathi kids. Howz the brain working? Whats the troop sorting process? I wonder! ...

Cheers!

2005-09-13T23:13:00.000-07:00

Jokes, smiles, music, sun, the moon, fun times...

All is back and well.

cd burn.

2005-09-12T22:00:00.000-07:00

Oh gosh...analogy again?

I burned some CD's of songs and started listening to them in my car. I was so excited. I love the fact that I can carry them around with me. But, come to realize, after last weekend my excitement just went down. Chinmay dropped pepsi on some of the CD's. So to clean them I was trying to grab them carefully out of the compartment and accidently dropped some on the ground -- with rocks and what not in the parking lot. They are not the same anymore - they've been scratched. Songs skip, get stuck and keep repeating the same word, some stop and some are absolutely fine!

Life can be a CD of burned emotions. Don't you think? I think so. CD of life.... we keep spilling freezing cold and burning hot truths and lies all over it. Drop it on the ground of broken dreams, shattered hopes. It doenst stay the same after picking it back up - it's been poked by the sharp edges of the broken dream and stained by the shattered hope tears. Emotions jump up and down, we get stuck at being sad and dwell over little things - again and again. OR, sometimes, we wipe it off with a clean cloth made up of understandings and compromises. If it still skips, and stops, some just throw it away and get a new one....a brand new one! Does it sound the same? or better?

down.

2005-09-10T18:05:00.000-07:00

busy week
out of smiles and energy

sun was hiding
clouds were 'it'

eyes were seeking light
though the darkness was lit

air was dull
breeze was a little rough

time was up
and i was down.

2005-09-02T11:51:00.000-07:00

One Sip At a time ... Quenced Thirst.

One bite at a time ... Satisfied tummy.

One year at a time ... well guided.

One Note at a time... Beautiful Tune.

One Line at a time... Sweet Song.

Many thoughts at a time ... Worry.

One Word at a time ... Dictionary.

One Beat at a time ... Life!

One step at a time...

2005-08-31T23:18:00.000-07:00

It hurts...

2005-08-30T23:44:00.000-07:00

It kills some of us to see others being hurt. A very very dear friend of mine called me today and shared her "break-up" news with me. For a second my heart just skipped. I didn't know what to say. There was this slight silent moment and before she realized, I said something so "usual", "What happened?" --despite of actually knowing all the answers, I still asked, gave me some time to gather emotions,thoughts and importantly 'myself' together.

Life can be a B!$@#. Sometimes it just comes at you like a bee. Stings you all over and leaves all those red marks for a while. Those stings of emotional breakdowns, tears, loss of self esteem and a whole bag full of other things sure take some time to heal. You need a lot of medicine -- medicine of talks with closed ones, time to discover things about yourself, books, music, reality check and 10 bags full of advice and patience to make your 'hurt-skin' go back to normal... back to being Thick. It makes you ready for more stings, but this time around you are wiser -- you'v learned how to run away from the poisonious bee's of life! RUN!!!! Dont let them win... cuz you know what... you are the Winner..of your own life --- Maybe!

Knocking on the Invisible Wall

2005-08-29T23:24:00.000-07:00

How did i see it? well i didnt, someone told me about theirs and i realized i had one myself. Well where is it? its around me and the doors to them are our very own words.

You meet an individual and you have a first impression, Good/Bad/No comments. Then you meet them again and your opinion may change about the person, may remain the same or again, have no opinion at all. Though, the more you meet/talk to the person the more you start coming closer and closer, well how close? how close can you be to a person? People say, 'so and so' is my best friend we know everything about eachother. how do they reach that point? do they just base on the number of years you have known eachother or could it have anything to do with the fact that you and the other person just mesh so well together? could be either one.

Many times we are NOT what we appear to be for the ones around us. At work people may think you are so organized yet at home you have clothes and books all over your room. you maybe the sweetest person around your friends but throw crazy tantrums at mom/dad/sis or bro.you may say yes to many No's you smile at many frowns, and you may very well pretend! We all do it knowingly, unknowingly-- but its done!

Invisible walls are built by our very ownself, they are made up of secrets untold, the feelings unspoken, the hate held within, the anger boxed up, the tears hidden, the unshown cruelty, the over-powering ego, self gained selfishness, and a lot more emotions piled on top of eachother. Boy, What a strong wall! It sure is pretty hard for someone to break-through and walk inside. Funny, some people use so many of their love skills and word tools and still can never break through it. yet some dont even try and can enter right through them.

How do you let that person have the password to go/see through your invisible walls? How do you determine with whom u will only discuss fashion vs. serious topics? How do you tell when you're passing through other people's invisible wall? Or is our own wall so invisible that we might run into it ourselves?

spilling the truth...

2005-08-29T11:11:00.000-07:00

I would like to thank everyone for participating in this silly game, as keshi has said. It was a fun activity. Definitely made me think of some things about my ownself. How many times do you get the opportunity to LIE on purpose... well the writers of blogvilla make it possible for you. ;) Cudos*
Not many of you know me so well as i havnt done 99 facts about myself, nonetheless, you still gave it a shot. High fives again!
Enjoy the results!

I was a popular runner back in school and broke running records – True. I have been trained as a runner since I was 11 years old. Won Nationals in 92 back in India and ran as the Jr. Olympic runner for the states of Ohio and Pennsylvania from 1994-1998. Oh and yaa.. I DONT run anymore nor i miss it. Pheww!

I am a Kathak dancer – True. I do it every Tuesday night for 2 hours (though taking this whole month off)

I have difficult time reading clocks without numbers – True. I can’t do this quickly at all, another thing I can’t do is walk and drink at the same time.

I am a huge “In-Styles” person, be it clothes, make up, technology, home related things, etc., and read some sort of material/magazine EVERY day – True. I am a hardcore woman. And Yes I do read something EVERY single day. It’s a habit.

I can roller blade (in-line skating) backwards – True. Been skating since I was 8.

I love New York City – True. I have been visiting NYC since I was 14 or 15 and make it a point to go there once or twice in two years or sometimes a year. I love putting nice clothes on, grabbing my purse with some blank napkins and a pen, getting on that subway, and going to random places in NYC, holding a Venti frappachino in my hand from starbucks and writing on those napkins or reading away in an open café/garden. Love it!

I want 4 kids – False. I absolutely adore kids and love them but I can’t even come close to think of having 4 of them. I might fail adoring and loving them so much. I just want two kids. One boy and one girl =)

I dip Parley-G biscuits in my tea/coffee almost every other morning – True. Been doing it since a little girl, love it.

I love sheer/chiffon sari’s with sleeveless blouses – True. Glad to be an Indian woman. I think sari is one of the most beautiful yet sexiest attires ever.

I like imaginations. – True. Hardcore true. As much as I love to talk and be around other people, I need my alone time. My imaginations love me and so they only visit me when I am alone, I am selfish when it comes to them too. Again, I have loved imaginations since I was a girl and they are my friends, best friends and relatives… I let them visit me at all times. “My imaginations are an imagination themselves.”

Cheers to all my mates! =)

*Keshi, thank you.

Invisible Wall

2005-08-27T23:47:00.000-07:00

Tagged to Lie.

2005-08-26T11:09:00.000-07:00

I wasn’t playing the "lie and tag" in the blog-villa with the blog family, and even as a spectator I have been tagged….. by Keshi.. tells a lot about this “netship”… Very friendly and inviting…

*blogvilla was an inspiration from Arjun

one of the following ten statements about me is a full hearted fiction. Which one? Take a guess! I will post the answer on August 29th (Monday).

Keshi’s inspiration… thanks once again…and with that said Search the ‘non-true fact’!

1. I was a popular runner back in school and broke running records

2. I am a Kathak dancer

3. I have difficult time reading clocks without numbers

4. I am a huge “In-Styles” person, be it clothes, make up, technology, home related things, etc., and read some sort of material/magazine EVERY day

5. I can roller blade (in-line skating) backwards

6. I love New York City

7. I want 4 kids

8. I dip Parley-G biscuits in my tea/coffee almost every other morning

9. I love sheer/chiffon sari’s with sleeveless blouses

10. I like imaginations.

Enjoy!
*** i'd like to tag Suyash... shonu i am sorry i dindt tag you, i thought you wouldn't like this activity..... but hey u'll enjoy it =)
I'd like to tag Chinmay, Razia, Reshma, Gaurav, Puneet, and Arjun.

Go Google....Nice Job...yet again!

2005-08-25T22:15:00.000-07:00

http://www.google.com/talk

fly.

2005-08-24T23:25:00.000-07:00

A girl and a guy fell in love
said the girl, Let us Fly
Float up in the sky
so they did, as would the dove.

IKEA Addiction!

2005-08-23T23:18:00.000-07:00

Addiction

google says: Compulsive physiological and psychological need for a habit-forming substance. Habitual psychological and physiological dependence on a substance or practice beyond one's voluntary control.

keeping the addiction
here is a dedication.... to IKEA

different types of Poetry i like...

Haiku

IKEA's a need
its not good its not bad
I am addicted to it.

Cinquain

IKEA
Modern,affordable
strolling, looking, buying
excited, happy, overwhelmed, energetic
SHOP

Acrostic

Imagination brought into reality
Knowledge of design made easy to understand
Energy flowing atmosphere
Art imitates life, life imitates art.

TERSE VERSE (something found at IKEA...)

Rare
Chair

Simile

IKEA is as COOL
as an ice Cube

For the ones who don't know what IKEA is.. "Affordable solutions for better living"..check it out yourself: www.ikea.com

Thank you...

2005-08-18T10:16:00.000-07:00

God, for letting me be here
Mummy and Pappa, for giving birth to me
Didi, for being the best sister and a guardian, letting me be myselft and still loving me and most importanly putting up with my crap TILL THIS DAY.
Chinmay, for making a difference in my life
Aai baba, for accepting me with tremendeous love
Teachers, for giving me excellent knowledge (limited due to lack of acceptance from my end, yet excellent)
Cousins, for being family and good times while growing up
Family, for encouragement and positive thoughts
Friends, for being there, giving great advice and laughing with me -- Nima and Razia - Thank you for not making me feel like i need to thank you guys!
Shivani, for chatting with me on MSN
Admirers, for teaching me new things about life
Weather, for making me realize i love Spring
Flowers, for putting a smile on my face
Music, for taking me on a emotional ride (good and bad)
Dance, for bringing the me out
Chocolates, for letting me eat you
Ice cream(butter peacan), for letting me scoop you out and be in my tummy
Shoes, for making my feet look beautiful (sorry for being a pain sometimes)
Phone, for connecting me with all the loved ones
Laptop, for letting me pound on you at all times
Security guard, for holding the door open
Elevator, for avoiding my walking up and down 8 flights of the office
Car, for getting me stuck in traffic and giving me the opportunity to think and listen to music
Lipgloss, for letting me let you shine on me
pen, for letting me scribble aboslutely nothings and everythings
H2O/Air/Food, for keeping me alive
Franklin covey proj Mgmt guide, for getting me on track
Camera, for letting me capture good times to reminisce back
Scarft and sweaters, for being warm towards me
Wet mud, for smelling so nice
Manicurist/pedicurist, Ahhhhhhh, you are good
Books, for teaching me so many words
Blogs, for letting me blog my thoughts and read what others have to say
Curling irons, despite of burns on my neck i still love you
Stuffed toys, for letting me squeeeeeez you
Purse, for stuffing all the crap in you
Emotions, for making me realize that things hurt

and just .... Thank You... for everything!

Speical Note: Hats off to my friend AVANI: I need to be somewhat "perfectionist" like her. She gets up every morning, works out at the gym, gets ready and goes to work by 9:00 am! Solute!

Random Questions from Arjun's Blog!

2005-08-17T10:13:00.000-07:00

What time did you get up this morning? – 8:10 am

Formals or Casuals? –mixture of the two.

What was the last film you saw at the cinema? – Mr. & Mrs. Smith.

What is your favorite TV show? – Sex and the City

What is your middle name? – Currenty its Amrit, soon it will be Chinmay!

Which is your favorite perfume/Deodorant? – I have more than one …(in this order) Issy Miyaki, Hugo Boss, Curve, 5th Ave. Deo: Dove

What is your favorite cuisine? – Indian and Italian

What is your favorite drink? –umm again, I like more than one….i cant really be discriminating these things… Cranberry juice, Mango Lassiiiiiiiiii, Mango a go go from Jumba Juice, My sister’s home made smoothies, Caramel Frappochino and Macchiato from Starbucks and H2O.

What is your favorite CD at the moment? – Some tracks from Mangal Pandey, Some from Paheli and Parineeta

What kind of vehicle do you drive? – BMW 325i – I love it!

What is your Favorite sandwich? – Quizno’s Monterey Club!

What characteristics do you despise? - Dishonesty ( I agree with Arjun here)

What is your Favorite item of clothing? – My Bebe Jeans with a cute top!

If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? – Europe

What color is your bathroom? – Off white with sky blue decoration

What color pants are you wearing? – Beige with pink and brown stripes

Where would you retire to? – havn’t thought about it.

What is your Favorite time of the day? – Mornings! I love waking up and spalshing my face with water and thanking god for another lovely morning!

What was your most memorable birthday? – All of them! My family rocks:)

What's the last thing you ate? – I had coffee – so I drank it.

If you were a crayon, what color would you be? - Maroon

What is your Favorite flower? – Any exotic flowers!

Coke or Pepsi? – Pepsi Please!

Do you wish on stars? - Nope

What is your shoe size? – 8 sometimes 7.5 in nine west!

Do you have any pets? – Nope, but I’d like a puppy!

Last person you talked to on the phone? –Chinmay

What did you want to be when you were little? – A professional Runner

What are you meant to be doing now? –This exact thing! haha.

What do you first notice about someone? –how well they carry a conversation out.

What was your favorite toy as a child? – everything which belonged to my sister.

Summer or winter? - Spring

Hugs or Kisses? – Hugs for friends, kisses for family

Chocolate or vanilla? – Chocolate

Living arrangements? – 3 days with mom rest with Chinmay.

When was the last time you cried? –while watching Sex and the City when Carrie learns that Big is married and reads the newspaper ad with Chorlette. She was so broken =( it hurt!

What is under your bed? –Empty Shopping bags, and some misc things

How many countries have you visited? – 3

In how many cities have you lived? – In this order---Kolhapur, Canton, Akron, Northridge, and now Santa Barbara

Favorite movie of all time? – Hera Pheri and Andaz Apna Apna

Mountains or beach? – SB is perfect, the beach is one side and the mountain on the other! Gorgeous!

The current friend you have known the longest? –Nima and Razia – two of my best friends! And of course my very own sister Pooja!

Full names of your potential kids? – oh this is a bad question…. Chinmay and I are going to have world war three b4 answering this!

What is your usual bedtime? – Varies but try to sleep by 10:30 or 11:00 pm

What is your favorite past time after office? –going home and relaxing!

If you had the opportunity to be in someone's else's shoes – My mom. Just to learn how she raised us so I can somewhat come close to her, if any, while raising my kids

If your life were a poem/song, which one would it be? “Pretty Woman, Walking down the street” By Roy Orbison!

If you could change three things about yourself, what would they be? Nothing! I am content with myself.

Happy Independence Day

2005-08-15T22:45:00.000-07:00

To all of you :)

Habit-s .. Bad and Good!

2005-08-08T11:46:00.000-07:00

Says Google: "A recurrent, often unconscious pattern of behavior that is acquired through frequent repetition. An established disposition of the mind or character. "

Lipgloss (MAC)

Chaptstick
Nivia Face Creme
Bath & Body works or Victoria Secret Body Lotions
Neutrogena Face Wash and scrub
Sabatian/Bumble and Bumble Hair products

Pedicures

Hairbands

Issy Miyaki
Magainzes and books
Music
Laptop
iPOD

Bright White Lights
Candles
Exotic Flowers
Internet,Trillian and MSN Messenger
www.google.com
gmail.google.com

blogs
102.7 KIIS FM
One Cup of Coffee (throwing 1/4 of it away)
Half cup of tea
Graham Crackers with Hershey Milk Chocolate
Krispy Kreme donuts

Fresh Fruit Smoothies
Mcdonalds 3 Chocolate Chip Cookies
GIANT ice cream cone at any Gas Station
Taco Bell
Pad Thai with chicken and peanuts
Pizza's and Pastas

99 cents Carl Jr. Spicy Chicken Sandwich
Dove Milk Chocolate
Sex and the City
Kareena Kareena and Jaisi Jaise Koi Nahi
Jeans

Smiles

Dance

Long conversations with my sister (bitching abt others included)
walk on Brand Blvd in Glendale
slightly biting the bottom lip (my own)
Pacing back and forth in my cube while on the phone
sitting with both legs up in a chair
walking barefoot around the office (i am taking a pair of flipflops at work finally)

Small talk/Long talk
Photos
lying in bed for no reason
talking to myself (weirdo)

singing like a rockstar with a water bottle in my hand as a microphone
raising eyebrows and nodding in meetings
Imitating people
Baskets - All types
Grapes and Bananas

Dried cranberries
Parley G Glucose biscuits
wearing my husband's t-shirts
laughing with him...
adoring him..
and just being with him!!

and more.... lot more!

Is life like a train?

2005-08-07T02:29:00.000-07:00

On a beautiful April morning, I was standing at the Northridge train station platform, waiting for my train to arrive. As I looked here and there, just like that well felt wandering breeze, a thought came by and whispered in my ear…“Hey, you think life is like a train?”

I don’t know. Is it? Do you know? Do you think our life is like a train? Gosh! I, I really don’t know. Here I scribble away and take a shot at it.

If life were to be like a train, we would be made up of different compartments, the compartment of being born, being a child, growing up, and finally being an adult. It’s like; we were given the ticket of entrance by ‘mom’ to be on the train of life. Many try’s to keep us on track by ‘parents and teachers’ as growing up to be somewhat stable. The energy may have been contributed to us by our siblings, guardians, friends, etc. just to keep on moving ahead. Somewhere along the way, at some point we take the excess baggage of our burdens, decisions, responsibilities, and much more from ‘whomever’ to ourselves merely to embark on that “adulthood” compartment. All of a sudden, Whoooooooooooooosh! so fast all of those burdens, decisions, thoughts, responsibilities and yep much much more, is moving along with us. As we take the turns and go through those zigzags of emotions we become stronger and stronger. Likewise when we go through the tunnels of failures we learn to turn the light of patience on and be wiser by the moment. Similarly as the rocks, debris and dust of negatives, no’s, and disappointment come at us, we tend or rather try to let those bounce off of our metal thick skin. Simultaneously, we are stopping at different stations throughout the journey of life to pick up different things, people, areas, and “stuff.” Some come and go, some come and stay. And some come, make you realize that they’ve entered and they leave. Sometimes we don’t even realize what has boarded until “it” gets off and by the time we acknowledge its gone existence, it’s too late.

When do we come to an end? Whenever we wish to? Or do we have the burden of picking up and dropping off many through out the journey? Do you think we were given the ticket for free to enter but we might have to pay a lot more to exit?

Thoughts on this topic by different people.

Life is a train...it stops sometimes and sometimes goes really fast. it stops at some stations which you like. some which dont like. you see some stations come and go. some others you dont even know when they came and went. becuae you were sleeping. -- Chinmay. A good Husband! :)

It goes too fast! – Sharvari Khanvilkar , Little Cousin/ Businsess/Spanish Student at U of Cincy Ohio.

If u r used to fast, city life, like NY or LA etc...then yes, If u r staying in Akron, then no. Train corresponds to a fast track mind, which wants to do something or the other all the time.... city gives u that. Laid back life in small towns doesn't. Of course its my opinion. You may think differently. –Ravi Ayyer, Ph.D Candidate at Case Western Reserve University, Ohio.

Haha! Hmmm. i guess i am not so creative. cuz i am trying to think what a train does. that it makes it similar to life. stops and goes. get on get off. its fast. no clue - - Shivani Misra, Marketing Project Specialist @ J.D. Power & Associates

i would say ....life is more like a car thats stopped at a railway crossing .....u know its all ok till that inevitable train comes by – -More on the serious note: if u do want to compare life to a train then i guess you could call each passenger car , the years of your life .....sucks to be on the front cos its too noisy and sucks to be at the back cos u always miss the platform ......so i guess the moral of the analogy is to live the youth and enjoy it as much as we can Rushi Matkar, My very own Cupid and Ph.D Candidate at University of Akron, Ohio.

You can choose to get off at a stop and have that be ur destination, or u can wait until u find the right destination to stop. – Razia Hussain, Masters student of Communications at University of Akron, Ohio.

gotta keep on chuggin – Avani Parmar, Business Systems Analyst in LA based Bus/Tech Company.

if by that you meant it comes roaring through your life and takes away to some other place you weren’t even sure existed. Sumit – Programmer for a Start up Computer Firm in LA.

like people come to ur life and leave.. just the way passangers get into train and leave when their destination comes.. Ashminder Kaur, Student

[yeah - it depends how deep we got into it. There is definitely more than one way to think about life i think. You can make it into a train - but you can also make it into a machine. Or you can turn life into a camera. So I think it can be a train - and it can be anything. Life is like a question with no answer to me. And that's the point - you stop thinking when you have the answer. It's the search of the answer that is the key. oops.. i'm getting philosophical again. But I can tell you one thing. If we knew that life was just a train and only a train - then life would be over because there is no more life if there are no more questions on what it is.
This life is one train ticket to somewhere else. and death is when you get off the train and either transfer or enter a new place. But it is also easy to break up the anology with little problems that come up in it... Rishi Oswal: Entrepreneur, San Diego, Ca

Life is like a bus, it has many stops and also stops at a lot of signals and meets a lot of people. Trains mein jyaada signal nahi aate hain, and it doesnt go thru traffic jams, very often so i think its more comparable to a bus aise main naye ubharte llekhakon ko ideas dete rehta hoon
and then sometimes u do things for others, similar to when u offer ur seat to people, and urself go thru a trouble, without even frowning abt it, but then u also come across people who are comfortably sitting at their seats but dont like other peoples bags touching them similar to life
when people who r sitting pretty at their place, can be modest and kind, or can be arrogant
and jerks` Jeetu: Civil Engineer --- San Fran, CA.

* Sorry Avani for spelling your last name incorrectly. I fixed it. =)

Written words or spoken words --- Thats the Question!

2005-08-04T10:33:00.000-07:00

Just a random email I wrote to a couple we saw at a party not too long ago. They gifted us a very nice baking set and invited us on a trip. Lovely couple. Below is what I wrote them as a little thank you Note... Makes me wonder.. Are emails sometimes better than actual words? Do we sometimes tell more through the written words than the spoken ones? I wonder .....

Enjoy!

To ___ & ____,

How are you two doing? First of all I wanted to thank you both for thelovely gift. It surely is very nice or rather functional. Considering the fact that I am an absolute slave to cakes and cookies, you couldn't have gifted anything more valuable than this to put a smileon my Face. I shall definitely take an advantage of those lovely utensils and fullfill my " always hungry for sweets" tummy with delicious baked goods.

Stepping away from cakes, cookies, thank you's and nice's, it waswonderful seeing the two of you at the party.

With Lots of love,

Pallavi and Chinmay!

Launch of my new life...

2005-06-09T17:45:00.000-07:00

All of a sudden...
Trees are greener than ever before
The living room carpet seems to have a competition with the grass
Water is clearer than my crystal ear-rings
Sky is 'bigger' than ever before for the 'small' birds to mingle
'Down' comforter is 'up' against the woolen sweater for softness
Sugar cubes seem to 'not liquefy' while giving extra sweetness to my tea
Afternoon Coffee smells richer than ever before, causing me to vanish in a 'sipping' world
Raindrops on the roof sound as 'Melodious' as the beats of a drum
The breeze wraps around me 'lovlier' than a stole
The night is brighter than a million dimonds
I have started sewing the joyful beads on the thread of my new life
I love you Chinmay.

Smile, It makes your voice sweeter....

2005-04-10T19:20:00.000-07:00

Shaan always smiles!!! he is soooooooo happy whenever I see him and I am so totally convinced why his voice is so sweet...

His smile.....it makes his voice sweeter... Try it! :)

Piece

2005-02-28T22:11:00.000-08:00

"LIfe is like a jigsaw puzzle and everyday is a new piece." I remember sitting in Mrs WaltenBaugh's ninth grade english class and reading this phrase on the wall. I wonder if its still there or not because it surely is in my heart. This phrase has not only scribbled itself in my heart but gets out and performs its magic in my life on regular basis. Well, literally speaking, I find many pieces throughout the day and sometimes none at all. Which ones did i find today?
Let's see! My alarm went off at 6:00 am Sharp and I still didnt make it out of the house untill 7:30, that too, without breakfast;Only to find myself stuck in some crazy traffic -- loss of time, no breakfast and stuck with traffic - All in return of curling few "pieces" of my hair. Straighter side...my project went into production, it was successful and I got emails saying, "Congrats, well done! Keep it up, etc. etc." With a smile in my heart...I started looking forward to my 8 o clock Yoga class with Terry at the gym. After a long work day I ended up dropping off a co-worker. It was solid 14 after 8 when I pulled into the drive way. Lost the Yoga piece for sure, thinking to myself, I shall search for it again later this week.

2005-02-28T22:03:00.000-08:00

Style is like a beard..it must grow well....

2005-02-27T21:58:00.001-08:00

These were the words which came out of Chinmay's mouth this eveing as we drove past the Kodak Theater just an hour before the beginning of the Oscars. I can't recall what made him say that though I thought it was quite Ironic since we were passing through hollywood after a quick shopping spree in Downtown LA! I believe EVERYONE who attends the Academy Awards mostly cares about "the" style, the clothes, jewelry, make up, how one talks, walks, eats, laughs and yes even the crying is done with a style --- Sweet smile, then immidiately the insides of the eyebrows drwan together as close as possible with a deep breath, again breath out and smile, both hands on the lips while words like, "Oh my god, I cant believe this or, thank you so much....100 names following I love you's" are uttered and finally thank you comes out again in the most stylish way ever.- -Eveyrthing has a style. A simple word with such a huge meaning. More than a meaning, style is an expecation or even a responsibility....a mere responsibility with an obsecure satisfaction.

What is Style? This is what google gave me ----> Manner: how something is done or how it happens; "her dignified manner"; "his rapid manner of talking"; "their nomadic mode of existence"; "in the characteristic New York style"; "a lonely way of life"; "in an abrasive fashion" ...WOW!Its amazing how so many of us are caught into this self-made shawl. A shawl of style, allowing various colors, brands and kinds of yarn to be knitted in. Be it the co-worker who loves the gap pants, the hip-hop queen Beyonce with her dazzeling gold hair, or Kate Winslet with her british accent. It all boils down to "the" style. Where do I fit in and what looks the best on me or what style is "in"? These are the questions which visit most of us everyday like we visit the restroom.

Only if everyone could be thier own stylist and not depend on Versace or Ralph Lauren to decide what is "in" for 2005 Spring collection. Not pay attention to the fact that....Pointed Toe shoes are the ones because Nine West and BCBG declares them in Vogue to be the classiest ones. Or Curly hair is the sexiest according to "Sex and the City" because Sarah Jessica Parker has the ringlets. Hello... Come on now ( I shall take my own advice) ... drop it like its hot and be an individual...afterall he/she is also "In-Style!"

Attacking Raincoat by Chinmay...

2005-01-25T09:01:00.000-08:00

from your blog.i dont agree with this completely. i think the main reason she islying is not because she herself wants to feel good about her marriedlife. she has probably gone beyond all those feelings. she knows herlife and her husband are a mess. she has come to terms with reality.she did not marry the hero because he didnt have a job and money. shetold him that even though she loves him a lot she is marrying someoneelse because that guy can give her a stable and comfortable life. whenin reality he gives her only misery. but when the hero comes to her,her pride does not allow her to tell him the truth. he is also doingthe same thing. he had promised her that he would make money and makeher happy. but so many years down the line, he is still a loser. hispride does not allow him to tell her that. so it is the PRIDE which isthe main player in this story..hence the song: "piya tora kaisaabhiman"....

i dont agree at all with: ""A very "chanchal" young girl, who wantsthe modern life, $$, high class living style."" she never wants that.

and the last part i agree with completely..."Anyone who tries to climb it to get an "honest" picture, she isnicely kicking them away with her jokes, laughter and "cute made up"stories. She is not ready to give up her self-esteem and pride to askfor help. She is ready to handle it all on her own."

"Critique" ---Chinmay

Stomp Stomp...I am here - Watch out - I am gonna get you.....

2004-10-19T14:40:00.000-07:00

He came so unexpectedly saturday night. It was a very sudden visit. I got so cold, his presence gave me the chills, I could feel the goosebumps slowly waking up on my skin, I wanted to just wrap my hands around myself and freeze on the spot or even for a moment simply run away, but then something about him stops me. At times, I almost turn away from him start walking/running fast and then I stop, turn around and come back --EVERYTIME!

My sudden reaction to his presence is always, a little "chanchal"-- He is so strange, sometimes he gives me the warm feeling and then there are times when he gives me the chills, yet, i like him a lot. I love his way of expressing himself or rather the way he brings out my fear, excitement, and the feeling of fullfillment.

His habbits are really really naughty. He has a tendency of tricking me. He'll give me false signs. Tricks me into thinking that he is coming to see me, to spend time with me, sing with me, dance with me or even just to let me look at him from far away -- be it for just a minute or two. BUT no...he'll give me all the hopes in the world and then does not show up. Such a sad feeling. This time he sent me no signs, I was inside and when I walked out he said, "Guess who's here, its me - your buddy *Rain"

I wonder what happened to his messenger Mr. Clouds, his friend Ms. Wind, how come those little leaf buddies didnt get scared and started to run away? They try so hard, only if they knew that they should just stay where they are because he ends up catching them no matter what. Its a very cute chasing game I must say. All the flowers, trees, the mud and even the roads wait for him. He's got a fantastic style of quenching their thurst by just letting himself go and let them take him.

I could go on and on and on with his stories....though I think I'll just stop at my Fear ....fear of getting soaking wet and not wanting to go back inside and ending up freezing myself up to the core...OR maybe at my excitement of just letting myself go and let him take over, or even maybe my fullfillment - fullfillment of just knowing that if it wasnt for him I wouldnt appriciate the green sorroundings and the extra good taste of my coffee on that special little chilly, "Chanchal" day.

Note: Rain is "him" for me - I grew up in south-western part of india (Kolhapur) and Rain is Masculine in Marathi ...known as "Paauus" -- Tho Paaus!

"The Tube"

2004-10-06T13:08:00.001-07:00

I got off the flight..ran really fast with my backpack on my back, thank god I didn’t listen to my mom and carried three “carry-on’s”, then it was guranteed that I was going to get stuck in the luggage area, “Ma’m that’s too many bags to take on the flight!” Great! Inside my head ( mummy I TOLD you not to do this to me) ….but I was wise this time…I only got a backpack on my back and I was off. So …where was i? oh yea I had just gotten off my flight and was running thru all those people, stopping every now and then turning around and saying, “I am sorry, Excuse me, Coming through” …I was late to catch an underground subway- rather I shall say “the tube” ( as they call it in Europe).

As my eye sight was reaching at all those long escalators and the elevator to get to the platform, the round roof stations and the squat rolling stock. All the tubelines seemed so new. I said, this is London for you….So as I stand on the side of the railtracks…this heavy wind comes running right at me…I can just feel her on me and she takes over, passes me and moves on to the next person and chasing her comes the train. I said to myself, “Ya know..do you think that the train will ever catch her…I bet they always play this chasing game, Ha”

…. Anyways..the train was kind enough to stop unlike the wind. I was looking at myself in those glass doors, ting ting..and it opened so we could step inside and grab the pole….”doors closing, please watch your step” and off it goes to chase the wind again. The TC comes in his green outfit looking all nice and dashing…clicking his ticket puncher and says, “ticket, ticket please” … I reach in my pocket, take it out and hand it over to him….click click and back to me..

I said, “Sir, I would like to get off in Paris” …TC: OkaAy! “I’ll inform you when Paris is around the corner” He stops and says again, “Be careful dear, it’s a crazy city…very busy” I smiled and said, “Thank you sir, I’ve got friends who will be receiving me” ( yea ok…I know I am all alone, and that’s the best part of it…) Ya really think that TC bought my “friends waiting” for me crap….--- Um I don’t think so…Or maybe…he did! Oh well…

Anyways..so I am looking out the window and all of a sudden I see this beautiful scenery, the train is going fast, I see little kids running with their father in the farm, and little houses, and WOHHH lights…people, cars, buildings..oh my god…I am in FRANCE…..the train stopped….I rushed to get out of the tube…and I felt a tap on my shoulder…I stopped….i didn’t want to look back..”oh boy..who is this tapping on my back…” ---- I took a deep breath…..Oh shit..wats going on..i hear this huge voice on my ears – wat? Tap? Beep beep? Phone ringing? Ok wats going on?.....>……..GET UP PALLU…U HAVE TO GET READY TO GO TO WORK , ITS 7:45…DON’T YOU HAVE A 9:00 O’CLOCK MEETING TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I open my eyes, smile and say……Here I come Glendale, Ca.

So we SAY...to our Significant others....

2004-09-23T11:49:00.000-07:00

I was talking to a very good "old" friend of mine (Ravi) and as we spoke, we got into a conversation where we were figuring out our future setting in the kitchen with our partners.....who would say what to their significant other, when asking for a cup of tea.

Ravi couldnt have said it better than this....... Very well….

Prasad: a ja chaha ghevun ye (Hey Go get me a cup of Tea)

Pankaj:chaha barobar kahi ajoon pahije kai...pai dabun devu ka? (Would you like something else with your tea? Can I also press your legs for you? )

Ravi: Eh..aashi nako ga cheedu, me tula chaha kartho ga....aikthes ka?(Hey, dont get upset, I will make the tea...you listening dear?)

Shashi:'ye tere ko kya chai bhi banane ko nahi aata, kaisi re tu, saali, kale kapade me nachati re' (Dude, can you even make simple tea or not? What type of a person are you? Dont be dancing around in those black clothes now!)

Hemant: Mereko koi chai wai nahi chahiye...ja mereko ek Chilled Beer aur Pizza leke aa..Ja!!(i dont want your damn tea, get me nice Chilled beer and some good pizza...GO)

Pallu:'navrya, chaha kai fakt, pohe pan aan, ani bharpoor aan, 'Arey ho, ani nantar bhandi vislun thev" (Yo Hubby, Wats this? just Tea? Get me some Pohe (puffed rice) too..and yea...afterwards, Wash the dishes too)

Moments are Picture Perfect…

2004-09-16T15:13:00.000-07:00

Moments come and go; some are good some are bad. People tend to remember the mixture of both. Many times you hear, “I have a vivid memory of that moment in my heart.” Its like capturing a picture of that instance in the camera of the mind, taking it in the darkroom of the “inside” by thinking about it in your heart and developing it with smiles, tears, emotions, or just by sharing it with others.

Many times no one can see it as clear as you can. For others it’s like looking at “any” portrait but still pretty in some ways. For you it’s a total “Kodak moment” which has been developed into this amazing Photo …. The picture so precious, so nice, so beautiful, it has no limits of 4x6 or 8x11 size! Nor you have the worries of it being old and loosing its negative or even dropping water on it. It’ll will always stay new and sparkling in your heart.

You end up having so many different “portraits moments” along the way in your life and you have an album of endless vivid moments of those beautiful pictures…take a minute out realize the moment you are living in…scan it into your own secure album of heart for easy sharing with friends and family…..trust me it’ll be remembered and shared with others…even if you are not around --- just to share your moments which are simple PICTURE PERFECT!!!!

This is Jitu's inspiration! :)

Love is in the air.....

2004-09-07T14:34:00.000-07:00

As I sat away from them and watched the two smile at each other. They were talking, smiling, cracking jokes, laughing hard and just enjoying each other’s company so much. She would look at him and say, that is so mean? And he’d say…no its not! Or she’d say, really you did this? He’d say, “Yes I did!” --- back and forth, left and right. They had so much chemistry going for each other. I could just see it in their eyes how much they both just wanted to be with one another. He was sitting away from her and slowly moved closer to her like a butterfly would make its way to the flower to sniff the smell of the conversation. Slowly, putting his hand around her shoulder, just like that same butterfly would move closer to the flower to become better friends with it. Taking her into his arms, like that butterfly would go for tasting the honey in the flower ( I hope this doesn’t sound like a rated R story here) – i was just sitting on a desk at a public place over the weekend and watching this one young couple go thru this phase. Made me so happy for them. They didn’t care what others were doing, thinking? I don’t think the world existed for them at that time. It was like the matrix where everything was frozen but those two! They were in their own little matrix world and enjoying every single program, bug (like me) a virus (like the sun which kept getting really hot) or more importantly the successful execution of …giving a peck on each other’s cheeks as an end program --- awesome joy of the moment to the core.. (Obviously, I had nothing better to do but to watch them eh? – well it was worth the watch) made me realize that there are moments where you don’t need to set rules and follow instructions to be happy or successful, just go with the flow and make yourself glow --- simply with smiles, company of the loved ones and small talk.

Everyone is a WINNER!!

2004-08-31T14:13:00.000-07:00

I woke up, got ready, picked up my purse,stepped out of my room and -----stopped..i almost forgot "him"...so i went closer and touched with both of my hands, took myself so very near and just let "him" wrap around my neck...so warm, so nice, so gentle!! --- Scarf!!! my scarf is ready! i shall call him..."it"..but in marathi scarf falls into a masculine category therefore i call "it" ..."him" Plus...he came out from hardwork of three females...two needls and the wool :)

So the weekend was _________ dashing! so much fun! though never knew it could take almost 6 hours to reach san diego, or some parts of the world you can walk outside at 4 am and feel the dew dropping on you....its a VERY SLOW motion of rain which feels so good to your skin - split of a second drop and that incident has rented out a little space in my heart by giving me the rent in the form of "nature appriciation awarness!!" hehe:)

"When you pass away who would you like your money to go to?" the lady's voice came to my ears once, then again and again..and she said,"Miss, are you there?" My mind was turned into an automatic rewinder which kept rewinding what the lady said and replying it back to me!!--- Yeah, i was settling my medical insurance over the phone and this question came up, i thought to myself--- "hmm, this is the race which not a lot of people want to win...not many fight with eachother to cross the finish line to get that medal of "departure for good" ..nor they work hard to get there...rather work harder to not reach it!" I shall call it the race of life which many lose even after trying so hard to not cross the finish line..they are MADE to cross it, simply to win the Medal of "Departure for Good" - whether you want it or not - we are all winners afterall!

Going on a One way street...but the wrong direction!

2004-08-26T14:29:00.000-07:00

Ninth grade it was i started taking typing lessons. lately i have been noticing that i type really fast...but defintiely not as fast the thoughts in my mind sometimes. Ok so there are some days where my mind just has too many thoughts....i am a little person and how is it fair for all those thoughts to visit me on the same day, same time, same moment ...tsk tsk tsk at the thoughts!!! I mean they are so strong and powerful that they totally drag me into the la la land of nowhere. Its one after the other and another and more. They run at me so fast and i just want to get out of the way, duck down, step out BUT, for some reason something inside my head says, Come on show them whats up! So here is my ego trying to be COOL and Hip...ready in a charlie's Angel Pose to take it on... so as they come so fast at me and yep..you are right...me being so little they just push me down on the ground of questions and answers,they get me rolling and summersaulting with the negatives/positives - the pros and the cons. so somehow i manage to get up on my feet with the help of that cane of wrong/right decisions so i can walk on that path of "moving forward". So then i am walking, running, jogging, watever the hell i am doing.. most of the times i end up smiling cuz i reach where i need to reach and then there are some days i slow down and say to myself..."Pallu, you are going on a one way street......and do you realize that this is the wrong direction?!"

Three’s Company..

2004-08-26T00:00:00.000-07:00

I was born on the third, I like the number 3 and I’ve always had good stories with number 3. and in this case again It’s the three of them. One of them is so soft and good looking and the other two are just sharp and pointy – but definitely wanted! All three of them have their own identity, so unique so different but at the same time they work so well together. I mean if it wasn’t for the three together we wouldn’t be so warm and cozy. Its so cool how the two of them come together almost hugging criss corss and the third one keeps hugging them in different directions or even wrapping herself around from the front and the back and just pouring all the love on to the other two…. while they take it all and lay out a nice beautiful end piece (wohhh wohhh..dont get any wrong ideas ….no awesome threesome is going on here ok…..) – its my lovely Crème Woolen Scarf! My two big fat nice blue needles and a nice white chashmir wool from Michaels is the story behind these three lovely ladies =) My scarf is so pretty..its just about time for the fall for my scarf to fall on my neck to beautify my clothes and warm me up while waking down those crossings on brand avenue in Glendale.

Just another random Thought….Avril is so right… “don’t leave me hanging in a city so dead…..Held up so high on such a breakable thread !!!
So Pallu says: today happens to be the day where I have not much to say………(avril takes over again) --all this time ….you were pretending……so much for my happy ending!!!

2, 4, 6, 8 , 10, 12…

2004-08-24T18:57:00.000-07:00

These were the numbers in the elevator this morning when I got on. All the evens. Wonder whatever happened to the odd ones! As I was wondering what happened to the odd ones, I came into my cube, saw I had a voicemail light flashing on my phone. I completely forgot my password. So our administrative assistant called the telecom people to reset my password and the new password was… 1 -3 -5- 7- 9 …so there came the odds! These little odds and even add up to an interesting number in my life! Hmm!

So the weather is definitely doing well here! Today is IKEA day…going to my favorite place – love it! Walk in - pick up that little pencil, put it behind my ear, get that sheet where you can add number of items you want, that big tote and I am off on the IKEA floors to get my mind into a test of figuring out what is going to look good where. The colors, the styles, the looks…just very so unique.

Today has been pretty good… meetings the whole day so nothing productive from projects point of view…. Ufff ufff ufff

As I knock the blog off today..i saw the Pasadena mountains look at me today. They were looking right at me all this time and I never gave them any attention before, so I sent a little message with the wind telling them that I will definitely give them a quick look as I ride down the I-5 in the morning. Hopefully the fog buddies wont be covering them too much for my smile to reach the very top most mountain!

Weekend Blast….

2004-08-23T09:23:00.000-07:00

What do I say? Can you believe it? Isn’t that just strange? Yep! I didn’t know how to start my blog this morning. I couldn’t think of what to say... and no no… not because I have nothing to say, it’s because I have too much to say today (or is that always?). Yes yes…Soo many little little great things happened with me since Friday. First things first, totally getting into watching movies! I watched Kill Bill and LOTR part two over the weekend. Kill bill was a disappointment. I am not a big fan of blood splashing around everywhere. The saddest part was when the mother gets killed in front of the daughter.. wonder if that was shot so then the same thing would happen to her what happened to Lucy Lui as a child and became an assassinator….is that what “Kill The Bride” is going to be about? …wonder wonder wonder..

So while we wonders abouts whats going to happens to “kill The Bride!!!” in parts twos we can puts the spot lights on Smeagol, Frodo, Sam and give high fives to the trees who kick some serious butt in LOTR – the Two Towers! Amazing effects ( I know I know..i am so behind with the movies…but something better than nothing at all eh?)

Apart from the moives, I cooked this weekend.. VERY BIG DEAL for me and was very excited that the stuff I made turned out very good J

WINNER! I won a nice pair of $68 worth jeans at the GAP this weekend. I needed to buy couple nice new jeans, I walked into the gap and this gentleman handed me a peel-off sticker for their jeans/pants promo. And I won! Everyone at the store was so excited, they were like, “You are the first winner since this promo started!” I got Free Jeans J Yay! They are sexy! I like I like!

And as per today….All I have to say at this moment is….San Francisco sent little flying buddies of gorgeous weather to LA today. Its beautiful outside and my music and the moon roof on my car made my drive to work even more stunning….

I am in love......with Yahoo Audibles

2004-08-20T16:03:00.000-07:00

People are weird and strange. I am people, and so therefore (according to symbolic logic) I fall into the weird and strange category. You are probably wondering, “why the hell is she calling herself a weirdo..?” well so this pencil incident took place and I was so amused by it. And so I’ll share something else with you. Ok I love to laugh and just have little giggles here and there…so on Yahoo messenger, they have added these new audibles which are different faces which say, hello’s, goodbyes, laughs,etc. and I am so in love with them. I kid you NOT. I am in love with them. I keep messaging Razia and keep putting them in her yahoo window. I got my mom started on it, I keep sending them out to all my friends and ….the weirdest thing ..i added myself on to yahoo messenger and I send myself these audibles to get a laugh out of it. (rolling my eyes at my ownself) I do it! I message myself to get giggles! Mom walked into my room last night and goes, Enough of those now! But I really like them too much!

So I am rolling in my car into the garage this morning, I have puff daddy playing…old school…”cant nobody hold me down….i’ve got to keep on moving”…and I guess my co-worker saw me rap with puff and ma$e. I walk in with my “professional” self get settled and I hear a tap on my cube..i said, “Hey wats going on?” ….Him: So pallavi…its good to have such sweet energy on the team who likes to rap at 9:00 in the morning and bump it up in the car” HUMILATED!!! SO EMBARRASED!!!!!!!!!! Life is definitely a jigsaw puzzle and everyday sure is a new piece!!

Pencil + Toilet = Flush...

2004-08-19T13:50:00.000-07:00

As stupid as it sounds...and yes it is very stupid..but how many times do you drop a pencil in the toilet and watch it flush away! Yea i know not too many times! well that happened to me today..and i was like......oh man its gotta be flushed now! AHHA ..pertty stupid huh..ya ya ya.i. know i know... well other than the pencil going to the flushland...i had a great party at my house this past weekend. So many of my friends came and enjoyed. It was out of this world. I had a great great time. We played some really really fun games towards the end of the party. I got to spend some time with the people which i had not really spent any time with before. Mummy made excellent food! ( i never ate that night, but ppl keep telling me still how good the food was ) watching a movie during a weekday!!!!!! FIRST one for me :) I saw Garv last night..very good :) i liked it! Salman khan did a good job! :) I need to see Finding Nemo and Shrek..... Ok so Tum Bin Jau Kaha is catching my attention.. i drive home on time to watch that series on Z-tv! wow.....T .V and i never went well together..wats happening????????? is the life taking a different mode?

Gaurav's Inspiration....

2004-08-10T13:07:00.000-07:00

So he said, why dont you do it? You'll like it! And so here I am...starting my own new world of writing blogs. I dont know how much in detail ill go here, but this is definitely going to be a test for me to see if i keep up with the entries or not! lets see....