unexpected tears....

We have six weeks to do this. So busy working on so many things, colors on the forms are not looking right, the fields are not matching, the db is not configured, the documents are not being entered into the sytem without error messages, the cluster is not setting up correctly, the servers are going haywire, testing is not complete, the data is not lining up, presentations and documentations are not done. Waiting for developers to turn things over so can do, this , that, and that, and oh yea that too...oh AND that .....much more : at the same time, work with the client, smile, look good, dress up well (it's Bob Iger's Office), drive from Glendale office to the Studios -- empty gas tank in the car, but gotta make it for the meeting, walk through the studios as all the directors, actors, characters working away, smile at the working men, stop and say hello! Get your ID ready, go through the security checks at the front gate, wait for the escorts to take you in, go through four more security guys to reach the office, walk, high heels, sunglasses, contacts making my eyes dry, four guys with you to set up the conf. room, be nice to them....smile with them. Lawyer with you, so you dont say or implement anything which you are not suppose to. (compnay may get sued). oh and dont forget.....must smile and make everything work... despite of having annoying and impatient clients. Loose it. feel like screaming, "Stop the Drama, the system is FINE, it'll work. Have patience." ---- Silence!

Driving out of the studios at 9:30 pm. Night filming going on, Alias is being shot, cameras, lights, people, laughs, walks...amidst...my car makes its way out on the road to the freeway....i see red and white lights, traffic is moving faster than the normal speed. Talked to chinmay, took all my frustration out on him....hung up the phone. Talked to a co-worker about an issue which took place earlier in the day. Resolved. Success. And the next thing i feel ....tears rolling down on my cheeks. My brain had me pull over to the side of the road, and i cried. Outloud. I cried.

I feel good today.